ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

41

"I just want to apologize, it was irresponsible of me.. and-and I'm sorry."

"No, I wanna know what the fuck happened, you don't drink, William. You've been the most
Proper man I've ever dated-where did it come from? Are you going through something you're not telling me?" I pressed on lightly while furrowing my brows and pressing my palms on my arms.

"Ariya, I'm not going through anything."

"Bullshit."

"It's true-"

"Then tell me why.. please-just tell me why you did what you did?" I begged him, my lips beginning to tremble at the thought of his answer.

"Tell me you love me."

"What? What does that have to do with anything?" I raised my hand.

"See! You can't do it!"

"I love you, see!"

"It's not the same, Ariya. It's not the same and you know it."

"So you decided to get drunk while watching my son!? What the fuck?! Leave him out of it!"

"It's not just that, it's just-Ariya don't deny the connection we're losing. It's not the same, I remember when we first started dating, you constantly kissed me, invited me over, we were at it almost every night, now what.. I'm lucky if you ask me to watch, Rylan. You just-just pawn him off to me like he's-hes my son?" He argued, his voice slowly raising with every word.

"Why didn't you tell me, tell me how you felt, communicate? I thought we were at that level of trust, William?" I held his two hands as he winced at my soft words.

"I love you, Ariya. I just feel like I love you more."

"I wish you would've told me, William. I need you to tell me things." I stressed my brows while rubbing my palms over his shoulders.

"Nothing will change." He shrugged.

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do-I just.. I think we should separate ourselves for a bit, not forever but a.. break."

My heart burned, I didn't realize how much time I've been spending with Khyson and Amara. I barely see William, it still doesn't give him a right to drink.

"Ok." I sighed with a big breath. If this is what he wanted I couldn't protest it. I nodded.

He leaned down while capturing my head in his palm, slowly stroking my cheek. Leaning down to softly peck my lips, I stood their frozen as he kissed me before pulling back.

"Bye, Ariya."

I couldn't deny the remorse I had, I would never forgive him for what happened but he's still always been a big part of me. He's been my level, the thing keeping me from breaking. He's been my reason, he's been keeping me from looking for Khyson. We've been together for years. I know we didn't break up but it sure as hell felt like it.

I backed up my back against the glass of the building and sighed. I didn't want to cry. I didn't need to. Something about all of this felt so out of place. It all had happened so fast.