The Heart of a Queen (A Historical Romance)

Chapter 33

The day before Brienna's wedding, Llewellyn had organized for games to take place in the meadow in front of the castle, a chance for the visiting lords to show off their skill at archery and javelin before enjoying a feast in the great hall. Vendors from the nearby villages had been invited to set up on the perimeter of the field, and Lasair was on tip-toe with excitement because Madoc was going to be there with a cart of her handicrafts.

Before she let Lasair drag her toward the stalls, Brienna made them both hang back and watch Ulf participate in one of the events his people were famous for: sword throwing. The swords they used for this were not the ones most soldiers carried in battle. They were true Viking steel, and weighed as much as a full-grown hog.

They watched, rapt, as Ulf ran up to the throwing line and heaved the sword mightily as far as he could, his face beet-red with the effort, muscles straining. The sword flew end over end in a perfect arc, landing in the grass halfway across the field where a judge measured it against a line that had been laid down the length of the meadow for that purpose.

Over the noise of the crowd, Brienna couldn't hear the exact measurement of the distance, but she guessed by Ulf's warrior cry of triumph that he was pleased with the outcome. They stayed to watch a few more men throw so that they could see who won, and Brienna allowed herself to shout and jump up and down as wildly as everyone else when Ulf was announced the winner.

Next to her, Lasair tugged on her sleeve and pointed to a row of young women from the village, their hair braided into coils on their heads in viking style and arms strikingly bare in the summer heat, who whispered to each other and pointed at Ulf.

"You may not be the only one going home as a newlywed," Lasair observed.

If only I wasn't going home at all, Brienna thought, feeling a twinge of guilt from the disloyalty of the sentiment.

As they made their way to the marketplace, Brienna had to admire the glow of health, prosperity, and happiness that showed in the faces of the people who had gathered from the neighboring towns. This market, with its excited crowd and wealth of fine goods and food, was more than anything a testament to how well Llewellyn looked after his kingdom and those who dwelled within it.

Though Brienna had arrived here knowing very little, she had heard enough about cruel kings and negligent princes to know that Llewellyn's care for the wellbeing of his subjects, and their fondness for him in return, were rare. She could understand why he put the security and peace that made it all possible above everything else in his life.

As soon as he saw Lasair, Madoc abandoned his table of wares and rushed over, lifting her in an embrace and spinning in a circle, squeezing a girlish giggle out of her that Brienna hadn't heard since she was herself a child. When he put her down, her friend was pink-cheeked and beaming, and Brienna had to love Madoc immediately for that.

Lasair introduced them and Madoc showed her the magnificent tapestries he was selling, all of them done by Lasair's artful hand. Something in the way the two of them tripped over each other's sentences with such familiarity suggested to Brienna that an understanding had been reached between them in the short time since she'd visited the village.

"Lasair tells me you're a sailor," Brienna said.

"I'm done with all that, I'm done with all that," Madoc said, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the cliffs. "Time I settle down to a farmer's life, a family life." He shot a sheepish grin at Lasair.

The they were both looking at Brienna, expectation on their faces.

"You're not waiting for my blessing?" she suddenly guessed at their intent.

A tremor of embarrassment touched Lasair's eyes. "My daughter," she began in a voice so low that Brienna had to lean in to hear her over the noisy market-goers. "You have to release me from your service in order for me to marry."

"Oh!" Brienna exclaimed, "of course."

They'd always been so close that Brienna never paid any mind to the fact that Lasair was legally a servant, bound to Connaught for the duration of her life or until one of the family freed her from her contract. In fact, as a servant, if her father had had an unpaid debt he could have handed Lasair off as payment, and would have done so without a whit of concern for her wellbeing.

"Oh, Lasair," she said, taking the woman's hands. "I release you. I only hope that our friendship will continue in this new chapter of your life."

"It will!" Lasair jumped forward and wrapped her arms around Brienna's neck, hugging her. When she pulled away her eyes were shining, and she turned to Madoc, who drew her against his chest and placed his head softly on top of hers.

Brienna envied them their love, which was not only true and strong, there was no doubt about that, but could also be expressed openly, here in a crowd of people or anywhere they wanted to go in future. She felt like she would have to turn herself into a substance as hard and cold as the steel of Ulf's sword if she was going to get through the next twenty-four hours and her wedding. Her reward once she did that would be to wear a mask for the rest of her life.

Standing in a crowded market with cheerful people swarming all around her suddenly felt like more than she could stand.

"I must take my leave of you," she said. Lasair unraveled herself from Madoc's grasp.

"I'll go with you," she said.

Brienna shook her head. She'd been hoping to find the right moment to pour her heart out to Lasair, to express her misgivings over marrying Donnall and how she felt about Llewellyn, but seeing her once companion so happy, she couldn't bear to tarnish that happiness with her own dark troubles.

She put her lips close to Lasair's ear so she could whisper the next, knowing that if she raised her voice, the strain she was under would appear within it.

"Madoc needs you much more than I do, sleeping at the end of my bed. Go. Be happy. I'll see you in the morning, before the wedding."

Lasair protested weakly, but Brienna insisted and left her in Madoc's care, her heart rent over the loss of what she realized was probably going to be the only great love in her life; that of a child for her nursemaid.

As much as it hurt, she didn't want anyone around to witness her sorrow through the coming night—the night before her wedding day. It was something she would have to suffer alone.