Youthful Innocence | Choi Beomgyu

Ch. 02

"Present."

I scan the room, turn to my right, and see a long-haired boy looking straight into my eyes. Those hopeful, gentle eyes looking at me. I smile and he averts his gaze somewhere else.

So, his name's Choi Beomgyu.

"Catherine Reeves."

"Present."

A faint voice lingered in the room. I scan the area to where the voice came from. I'm sure it was from the back.

"Catherine? Can you please raise your hand so that I'll remember your face when I call your name again?" I smile as I continue to search for my student among the others. A hand was finally raised and she's indeed sitting at the back, three seats away from the door. "Thank you."

"Okay, next. Kang Taehyun."

I scan the room again and a hand raised in the air catches my attention. He smiles widely as his name was called. His other hand was holding an open book.

"Present."

I smile and continue checking everyone else's attendance.

"Now that everyone's here and aware of the things to follow. Why don't we take homeroom period as a free period today since it's the first day of school? You can do whatever you want, talk, sleep, read, do college applications, as long as the noise is up to a minimum." I watch as different faces in front of me slowly replace with glee. "If things go out of hand, I won't hesitate to let you write an essay and will be submitted later in the afternoon. Copy?"

Everyone in the room immediately scrambles quietly. Groups of girls gather in corners and start talking, boys are grouped as well, and a few students remain in their seats and just minded their own businesses.

I can't help but put a smile on my face. I'm glad that they're getting comfortable.

I never noticed but the room is quite large for twenty students to gather. The view outside the windows is beautiful as well. The sky has a bluish-gray color and the branches of the trees give a good amount of coverage to illuminate shadows. If looking closer, the open volleyball court and back quadrangle can be seen below.

I am now seated and my hands start to run along the edges of the desk. I can't believe this is actually happening. This is a huge step for me.

The grin on my face is evident and I avert my thoughts. I take out my iPad from my bag and start to go through the things I needed to finish, but the feeling of being watched sent shivers to the back of my spine.

I slowly look up and give a quick glance at my surroundings and our stares meet again.

This time our gazes take a little longer. His eyes look hurt and happy at the same time. I can't explain them but they look beautiful even if they're somewhat covered by his long hair.

"Yo, Beomgyu. What is it?" A friend of his snapped a finger in front of him and he was quick to react.

"Nothing." He smiles timidly.

"What do you mean nothing? We asked you if you want to come tonight."

"Yeah, sure."

Just at the corner of my eye, I see the other student, Taehyun, looking in my direction as well. His expression is quite serious and intimidating, but I give him a warm smile which he gladly returns back.

I continue my work and my phone vibrates.

[New Text Message]

I open to see a message from Suga.

I can't help but feel relieved. My heart starts pounding and my hands start to get sweaty as I read his message.

[I'm sorry about what happened last night. Can we talk about it later? I'll come over tonight.]

My thumbs are fast enough to reply and click send.

[Okay. See you.]

I haven't even had the chance to contemplate whether I want to see his face or not but my actions say otherwise. I was quick enough to decide because I feel somewhat happy. Am I really this stupid to continue a relationship like this? Am I really a homewrecker?

A sigh of frustration leaves my lips and that's when I realize that a few heads turn in my direction. Looks of confusion, curiosity, and concern mark my vision. I can't believe this is happening. I just humiliated myself again in front of my students and the first hour of the day hasn't even passed.

"Ms. Avery, are you alright?" A group of three girls on my left seem worried and walk toward my desk.

"You seem you're about to cry." Another voice interlopes.

Great work, Avery.

I need to get an excuse. I can't expose myself to them. They won't understand what I'm going through. Hell, will I even share what I'm going through.

I look at the girls and give them an assurance smile.

"Don't worry. I have my contacts on and my eyes are quite dry. I'm just frustrated about something personal, but everything is alright." I search their eyes and they seem quite to calm down.

"Okay." One of the girls answer and the three of them proceed back to their corner.

The classroom is returning back to its original state and I let out a quiet sigh of relief.

Did I unknowingly do that? Am I that frustrated about Suga? About my life? I can't work like this if I'm always distracted, but I don't want to lose him either.

Fuck this shit I'm in.

I never should've opened myself to him. I never should've trusted him. I was a pawn and I can't believe I had the courage to go against the rules. How did I let myself be this way?

I tell him I love him. He tells me loves me, and he tells her he loves her, too.

Are we too selfish enough for each other?

I want things to stop but at the same time, I don't want to give up.

It's been two years and we're just circling. Why can't we both stop? Why can't we move forward? We wanted and tried but we always fall back into each other's embrace. Pathetic as it sounds, but it feels good to be loved by him.

Is our relationship based on lust? Sympathy? Are we just here to fill something we both lack in?

I don't know.

We go on dates, have serious conversations, and even share interests. We even have a project together and it's coming to life in a few months.

A song.

So, why can't we-

I'm brought back to reality again. I always doze off.

I'm sure that I jumped for a second as soon as I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see who it is.

"Ms. Avery, are you alright?"

"Taehyun."

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Author's Note:

Hello! I just wanted to stop by and thank you for taking the time to read my story. It really means a lot. I hope you've taken a liking even though it's only the second chapter. Also, I've created a Twitter account (the link is found on my profile). We can talk with each other on that platform, as well as updates and polls! See you around, darling x - dRE ♡