tommyinnit oneshots

not a oneshot

I want to die, it's not anything new and my mom doesn't care or notice that I need help, how I help with my pain is humor and sometimes it gets to much for me to handle and I just want to break down and sob my heart out, I want to run to my mother and just hug her, I want to find my father and hug him and just forget everything that he did to me and my older brother but I can't and that's what I just can't handle, my father was a good dad when I was younger but changed when I turned a certain age that I can't remember and he started to hurt us but mostly my older brother that used to hurt me with words for things that I never really did. My brother used to make fun of me because of my weight and I became so very self conscious in my body because my dad also said that I was fat and a pig while I would try not to cry. I love my family but every time I would finish my food and if I was still hungry I would ask for some more and they would always call me a trash can because I eat so much, I just want to be loved and not body shamed because of my weight that I can not control, I tried to eat less and drink a lot of water and I lost some weight but I was still fat and it didn't help that my 6th grade teacher said that I looked so fat when I was in 5th grade, I'm now in 8th grade and trying to be happy with the weight I have but I can't help it and all the comments that people said about me still hurt to this day and now I can't eat a lot of food with out feeling bad about my body, and I can't do anything about it without any help but I can't get the help that I need, I just want help, why can't I just have it?

Sorry if this is annoying my children I just had to get this out, I love you all and please if you are feeling like this get some help or talk to someone or even me, I will listen to everything you have to say.