Anxiety Attack

New symptoms

I stepped down the remaining steps and came and stood in front of my mom. 

"Darling, you are up? How are you feeling? Are you hurt anywhere? Did...did this boy trigger your anxiety?" My mom was expecting me to complain about him, but how could I when he is the one who helped me...again.

"No mom, Nothing like that happened. He stopped me from completely breaking down and it is not the first time. He is always there whenever I lose control. I have already told you that, but why are you so adamant to make him look bad." I said. My body was shivering from an unknown emotion. My mind was filled with unsaid words. It was like I still had so much to say to her. I felt like screaming. 

We only have met two days ago but in these two days he had helped me so much already.

I started to hyperventilate. My head was buzzing and the blackness started to cover my sight. I so wanted to let all that out, but doesn't know how then suddenly someone took hold of my shoulders and faced me towards them. "What happened?"

"I can't, " I said in between the breaths.

My head seemed it will explode anytime. I hold his arms to support my shaking body. "My head is drumming. I...I want to say...so much, but...can't." I told him truthfully. My voice was coming so small that I doubted that he even heard me. He didn't say anything for a while so I was sure that he didn't hear me.

"Then don't say anything, just scream as loud as you can. I am right by your side." He assured me.

"What the hell are you saying?" My mom intervened again, but I didn't hear her and that made me want to scream more.

"Why are you so stubborn mom?" I shouted at my mom. I was not planning to scream at her. I just wanted her to listen to others too. "Why it is so hard for you to accept that I made a friend? Why you are so determined to push him away? I don't want that."

"Rosalie, you are out of line. You can not talk to your mom like that." My dad said. I felt bad, but the force in me hadn't calmed down, so I said things I never said before.

"No, dad. I love mom, but you know it too, that she never considers others' thoughts over hers. She never asked me what I wanted. I know she did everything just for me and to keep me safe, but you both never let me do what others of my age do all the time. I know, I know I am not like others and that I myself told you that I don't want to go out, but after meeting peter, the guy mom said is bad for me, I wanted to try harder and come out of this cage that I installed inside me." I never thought that I could be normal because you showed me every day that I am not normal." I took a deep breath, my throat was sore from all that shouting.

"Ro...Rose, you should not talk like that to your parents." Becca said after an awkward pause.

"No, let her say whatever she had been holding up for so long." Everyone looked at Peter when he said that. Only he understood that I wanted to let all this out. 

"I want him to stay my friend. I really, really want it. Mom, Dad, can you understand me." 

It's not that all my parents did was suppress me. My mom encouraged me many times, but that was nothing compared to how Peter pushed me into doing something I will never imagine. I should not compare a guy I met only a few days ago with my parents, but all these things were coming on their own in my head. As I said I lost control over it. I was not able to stop all this coming out of my mouth and into my head.

I love my parents very much, but... "How could you encourage her to behave like this. I thought for a moment that you cared for my daughter, but you proved her mom right after all." 

"Dad, why are you not listening to what I am saying? I said I don't want to stay hidden anymore and that happened because I and you guys are still talking to him so rudely." I am not able to think clearly anymore. I don't know what took over my body because I advanced towards my dad in a threatening way. But Peter was still holding me so he kept me grounded.

"Rose, look at you, you are behaving like a delinquent, just like him" My mom said.

"That's enough." I screamed. I took the flower pot from the centre table and smashed it on the floor where my mom was standing. "You will not bad mouth him anymore." I took my hairs in my feasts and pulled my own hairs. I didn't know why I did that but that eased my mind for a little moment. My body felt like jelly after all that screaming.

Everyone looked shocked. Everyone, including me. 

I... What was I trying to do? Am I going crazy?

"Rose, you need to calm down love. You will hurt yourself." Peter took out his earphones and put them on my ears carefully. He made me sit on the sofa and sat beside me. He played the same songs list that he played before and leaned me towards him. I put my head on his shoulder and went into a world of nothingness.

(Present time)

So that's what happened. They might have called Ryane to see why I behaved so differently. I wanted to know myself. I never behaved like that before. 

Oh, so it is an anger issue.  But why now? Why so suddenly?

"You are the reason why she behaved like this. My baby was never like this." My mom was scolding him, again.

They are fighting like Tom and Jerry. 

Well, imagining them as Tom and Jerry make sense and it makes it funnier.

"Oh,how so?" Peter asked.

"Then how will you explain her behaving like this only now when you started to interfere her life?" She asked. 

She is giving me a headache, they both are. I wanted to get up but my weak body won't allow it. Only I can stop these two from arguing.

"Well, I think we should leave now." Becca tried to take control over the situation.

"That's a good idea. You both should leave. Rosalie is resting and we need to talk to the doctor also." My dad added.

"Let's go... Come you idiot, you have caused enough trouble today." I could tell that Becca had to drag Peter out of my room.

After a moment of silence. "I am going to prepare dinner, Ryane you are staying for dinner." With that my mom also left.

"What it is? What is the real reason behind her behaviour?" My dad asked.

Yes...Yes...Yes, I want to hear that too.

"I think that kid is right. It could be the way we approached her situation so far. She could be feeling undermined or ignored. It could be anything." Dr Ryane said.

"But then why just now? How that kid is of any relation with it?"

"I will take a guess and say that he played a big role in this. He made her willing enough to come out on her own. You have to tell Tia that she should not interfere in it. Rose seems to like this guy very much and she felt threatened by you guys. If you don't want her to hate you guys or shut you off completely then don't make her do something she doesn't want to."

"But he is annoying, you saw that yourself."

"Yes, but Tia is controlling you know that too. It could be a cure for Rose to get a normal life. She can completely heal from past with the help of this kid."

"So you are saying that we have to let that kid mess with our baby."

"You saw it yourself that he is very careful when it comes to Rose. He didn't let any of us touch her until he made assure that she is comfortable."

"But Tia will hate it."

"I know but you have to make her see through it. That kid is suffering from trust issue. I am sure that her family situation is not that good. He doesn't trust any adult."

No, stop talking about him when he is not here. I don't want to hear these things.

"Rose...darling are you up?" And I opened my eyes.

Hello darlings. Finally, this chapter is over. It took me the longest time ever to complete a chapter.

But I hope it was worth it. Please tell me what you guys think about it.

See you guys with another update soon.