Scared of Lonely

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I'm scared of being alone
I can't seem to breathe when I am lost
'Cause I'm lost in this dream, I need you to hold me

Beyonce- Age 10
Dec 10.*same day

"Beyonce stop being so rough with me! I'm the oldest!" My big sister Solange yelled at me. I don't know why she always nagging about being the oldest. 

"Well if you the oldest you can't be crying cause I'm stronger than you!" I yelled back.
"I'm telling momma!" She said while stomping away.

              5 minutes later

"Giselle, bring yo ass!" Momma yelled at me from downstairs. I just know I'm about to be in trouble.

I tried to take my time but it only seemed to make things worse. " Now I know you hear me little girl!" she yelled as I was coming down the stairs. "Yes momma"

"What did I tell you about being so rough with your sister? You know she don't like playing like that!" momma yelled while pointing her finger in my chest with her long nail. She always did me like that and it always left a mark.

I tried explaining to her that Solange wanted to play and actually started with me. But she wasn't going for it. Even Solange tried to tell her. Instead of listening she called my Dad.

"Now Beyonce, what's your problem with keeping your hands to yourself?" He asked while holding the belt. I just stood there because trying to explain would've made him mad.

Me not answering made him furious and he just started swinging the belt every which way. All I could do was scream due to it being nowhere to run.

Momma eventually told him to stop. If it wasn't for her making him stop he could've beat me to death.

"Now make your way to the basement. You obviously ain't learned yo lesson from last time!" My dad yelled. I hated going down there because it was dark. And I was always alone.

"Please don't make me go! It's scary down there" I pleaded. But that didn't phase him. Instead of allowing me to walk on my own, he pushed me. All I could do was crawl into my normal corner and cry.

This was an everyday thing so I wasn't too bothered by being down here. It was just me being alone that made me feel lost.

I'm scared of lonely, and my parents knew that. So locking me down here was their favorite thing to do. Besides watching me cry of course.

Just a little flashback of Beys childhood. Giving a little look into how she was raised compared to Nicki.

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