Forget-Me-Not (dreamxreader)

58 || War

We pause for a moment staring at one another. I could feel that both of us were moments away from tears. Ranboo's grip on my wrist had drifted to my hand which he held fiercely. I felt like if I let go I would crumble, perhaps he felt that way too. We are going to war and there is nothing we can do except fight our hardest and pray to the gods that we all make it out alive. 

I've already promised myself that I won't let the Dark Army harm my friends. We've trained so hard for this, we've pushed our soldiers to the best of their abilities. We've come so far, we have a chance to win. We have to take that chance. Ranboo's mouth was slightly open as he breathed heavily, his hair unusually messy from stress and I know he wouldn't have slept well last night. If it weren't for Dream's cuddles I wouldn't have either. 

"We could die today," Ranboo was barely louder than a whisper, just loud enough for his voice to crack and groan as he spoke. I had never seen him more earnest, more mournful, solemn. I shake my head trying to get the thought out of my mind. 

"I don't want to think about that now," if somebody died I would deal with it when all's said and done. One can't expect to battle thoughts and a physical opponent at the same time.  

I can't think of losing anybody again. We lost Tommy in a way that still makes my skin crawl, that makes the voices whisper wildly to one another. I cannot lose anybody else. 

"Y/N, please," Ranboo begs and I feel my heart shatter. I don't want him to beg me for anything, I need him to know that I'll do anything for him in a heartbeat. I steel myself for what he's about to say knowing his sincerity may push me over the edge. I take a deep breath and nod, Ranboo gently takes my other hand. 

"If we never speak again, I like to think that we'll think of each other fondly and that neither of us feared the future when we imagined ourselves facing it together," Ranboo murmurs, each word thick with melancholy. The weight on my shoulders becomes so much heavier at that moment. In my head, the voices are silent, swamped and drowned out by my thoughts and imaginings. What if one of us did die?

"Stop," I croak weakly shaking my head. I can't look at him so I look at my shoes instead. Ranboo's hands brush my cheeks and I feel his forehead press against mine. I bite my wobbling lip not being able to remember the last time we did this so candidly. Ranboo doesn't stop, he needs me to hear this, so I listen. 

"I like to think that you will remember me as somebody who loved you the best I could, even if it's not enough to protect you. And you will think of me as somebody you could have spent your life with..." Ranboo's voice breaks nearly every couple of words as we find ourselves folding to the will of our emotions. I look up from my shoes and at his beautiful face. Ranboo was a huge part of my world, what would happen if he went missing from it? I nod telling him it's ok to finish his words, that I want to hear them. 

"I will always think of you as somebody I would spend the rest of my life supporting," I feel a tear drip from my eye and wipe it away quickly before it burns Ranboo's hand. Ranboo pulls me into his chest for the warmest hug we'd ever shared. 

"I love you," I mutter. 

"I love you too."

****

We sit mounted on our horses. Percy was decked out with the netherite and gold armour Eret had welded for me ages ago. We wait in front of our forces, staring at the forest. Techno and Dream waited on either side of me with their horses. There were about fifty metres of grass between us and the forest. The ground with littered with shadows of crows from above. 

Every nerve in my body seemed to be live with electricity, like a broken redstone contraption running at incomprehensible speeds. It took everything in me not to jitter like a beetle on its back. The anticipation felt far worse than the task we faced. Once I was fighting, my nerves would melt away and it would just be me and my opponent.