Return To Me

One Big Breath

Present.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

My body has gotten completely used to my position in this plastic chair. I've lost count of the numerous times that the nurses have offered me a comfortable chair but I've always refused even against doctors advice because of my injuries. My excuse was always the same, although I never told them the real excuse which was of course so I never fell completely asleep, not that I slept much in the first place. In fact I didn't sleep at all last night. I honestly feel sick with nerves and anticipation.

Today is the day, the day I get Jackson back. It turned out that whilst I was asleep for one of the rare times a few weeks ago, his body had woken up but as it wasn't one hundred percent strong enough for him to regain full consciousness the doctors put him into a medical induced comma for these past three weeks.

Today they are waking him up. I was chased out the room this morning for one of the first times in the months, while they gave him a check up before removing the medication that was keeping him under.

All that's left to do is wait. To wait for him to wake up. It's could be hours, it could be minutes from now. In fact it could take days but the doctors are sure that it will be sometime today. We don't know when.

While I'm waiting I looked back at the letters I wrote him. So many more memories arise. Some are sad, some are painful to remember but are still important, the others are joyous and euphoric. I'll write about them later, just in case he has lost his memories. Right now I need to stay utterly focused on Jackson.

***

Time passes painfully slowly when you're waiting for something to happen. Each passing second seems to last an hour. Nothing is more painful than this. Not even my injuries, I don't think anything could be worse.

I lean forward and grasp his cool hand with my own. When you read stories or watch movies a squeeze of the hand is always the first thing they seem to pick up when someone wakes up from a coma.

It was already three in the afternoon and nothing had happened. No movement as of yet.

My entire focus was on Jackson, the only thing that distracted my focus on him was when a doctor came in to check on him.

"Isla, dear. Do you want to go eat something or get a coffee? It could be another few hours yet. It's a tedious process waiting for them to wake up.", Christopher, the doctor asked.

"I'm fine thanks"

"Honey, you should eat something this isn't good for you or Jackson. He needs you to be strong when he wakes up."

"I'm fine, really." My breaks in my voice defiantly didn't reassure him but he let it be. He'd learnt by now.

In the end like he always does after he finishes checking over Jackson he sends Diane, one of the nurses to get me food.

~*~

At 5:43pm everything happened suddenly. I was still sitting there holding his hand when there was a faint squeeze. That squeeze was enough. I hit the button to alert Andrew and his team before returning my never faltering attention to Jackson.

He squeezed my hand again, but this time his eye lashes fluttered. The doctors rushed into the room checking his vitals shouting instructions back and forth.

"Jackson? Baby, if you can hear me it's okay you can wake up now. It's time." I whispered despite the chaos surrounding me.

It took another five minutes before anything big to happen. We were all surrounding the bed waiting.

At 5:57pm precisely, he jerked lightly and his eyes steadily opened and with one big breath he woke up.

"Jackson? My name is Dr Christopher Jenkins. You are in Queen Elizabeth's Royal Hospital. You have been in a coma for three months. But you're going to be okay. Can you remember anything that happened?"

"No. I don't remember anything. I-I don't understand. What happened?"

"Jackson? Baby do you remember me? Do you know who I am?" I asked him softly like you would if you were approaching a hippopotamus.

"You're one of my nurses?" He answered confused.

"No. Jackson, I'm Isla"

"Who are you then?"

That, that moment was when my heart shattered into a million pieces and my world came crashing down.

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