chapter thirty five

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Cass

"Am I dead?" I question as my eyes open. I see white surrounding me. "No, you're not dead, yet." I look over and see Lily and James. "Lily! James!" I exclaim and jump up to hug them. They smile as we pull apart. "Harry is so grown now." Lily comments. "He is amazing. I wish you are there." I say softly. "We are always there, Cass. Always." James says and looks at Lily. "We may not have been able to have our Quidditch Team of kids, but I'm happy." James says and Lily rolls her eyes, "Not this again." I laugh softly and I feel a tap on the shoulder. "Richie!" I exclaim and jump on him, he smiles and kisses my forehead. "You have done good, Cassandra." He whispers and I sigh, "I wish you could be there." I say softly. He laughs, "Cassandra, can't you see?! We are always with you. All of us. We watch you all the time. Through your struggles, through your happy moments. All you have to do is remember." He tells me. "Why am I here?" I ask. "Remember." Richie says and hugs me tight. I felt my Richie become lighter, and he started disappearing. "Richie!" I scream. "Remember." His voice was further away as they all gave me smiles. Everyone I ever cared about, who died, smiled before speaking, "Remember."

"I think she is waking." A voice made me groan. "Cassandra?!" A loud voice makes my eyes snap open. "Remus." I mumble, my mouth feeling numb. "Is the baby okay?" I ask. "We don't know." He says softly. I look around and notice we were in one of the spare rooms. "Where is-" I was cut off by Remus' giving me a look. "The healer is right outside the door." He says, giving me a hint not to mention Sirius. "When can I see him?" I whisper. Remus opens the door and the healer comes in, and a black dog jumps onto the bed and starts licking my face. "Hey Padfoot." I whisper. He barks and looks me in the eye. "He needs to leave, you aren't healthy enough to even be talking." The healer says. Sirius whines but leaves and Remus starts grabbing things for the healer. "Stop saving me, see if my baby is okay." I tell the healer. "I'm not checking the baby until you are stable." The healer tells me. I glare at her, but she doesnt take notice. I look at Remus, who wouldn't look me in the eye.

~~~~~~

One week later

"Can you check my baby now?" I beg. I was better, healthy, which shocked everyone. "Yes." The healer smiled. She started muttering spells before holding her wand over my stomach. It was five minutes before she lifted her wand away. "You had a miscarriage." She says it like it was no big deal. I went into shock. "No." I whisper. I get up and leave the room, "GET BACK IN BED, YOU'RE NOT THAT HEALTHY!" my healer exclaims. I go up to Sirius' room and lock the door. Tears were falling down my face as I saw Sirius pacing, because with the healer being here, he hasn't been able to leave. Sirius looks up and sees me. "What's wrong, love?" He asks quietly. I fling my body onto his and sob. "I'm sorry." I repeat over and over. He held me, and for some reason I knew he knew what I meant. As his arms held me close, I completely fell apart. We stayed like that for minutes, until his hands fell to my stomach. "We never found out if it was a boy or girl." He whispers. I look up and see tears falling softly from his face. "I am sorry." I choke out. He wipes my tears, but they just kept flowing, "it is not your fault." I pull away and shake my head, before goig to our bed and curling up into the blankets. Sirius laid down beside me, brushing my hair out of my face. "I love you." He says and softly kisses my lips. "I love you too." I whisper. I close my eyes, falling asleep with tears falling.

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