crawl ( f.w )

twelve.

5 hours went by.

i don't know how but it did. i haven't even touched my phone thats been chiming with notifications. i eventually silenced it, not wanting to be bothered. this song was something i needed to do. i had to get this off my chest.

i snatched my phone from under my pillow, not bothering to really read any of my texts , as i opened the camera app i started recording.

" i don't really know what this song is titled. i don't know if i'll ever even release this or if anyone will see this. so. for now i'm singing to my phone. " i giggle at the last part and sit the guitar in my lap comfortably. i took a deep breath as my hands shook a little. my fingers started to flow over the metal strings.

" i just need someone in my life
to give it structure.
to handle all the selfish ways
id spend my time without him.
your everything i want
but i can't deal with all your lovers.
your saying i'm the one
but it's your actions
that speak louder.
giving me love when you are down
and need another.
i've got to get away and let you go
i've got to get over.
but i love you so
i love you so
i love you so
i love you so
i'm gonna pack my things and leave you behind.
this feelings old and i know that
i've made up my mind-"

i felt tears threatening to spill from my eyes as my voice cracked a little. i sniffled and continued to sing the hardest part.

" i hope you feel what i felt
when you shattered my soul
cause you were cruel
and i'm a fool
so please let me go
but i love you so
please let me go..
i love you so
please let me go.. "

my voice trailed off as i finished the song. hot tears streaming down my face as i stopped the video. besides me feeling sad, the song actually sounded pretty good..

" ugh i needed that. " i said as i wiped my face with my shirt. " everyone needs a good cry. "

i put everything away and finally took time to go through my notifications.

today at 7:35pm.

finneas: hey
finneas: are u ok
finneas: you've been m.i.a all day :(

today at 11:48pm.

hey
yea i'm okay finnie boy
i'm just in bed

i didn't really expect finn to respond right away but he did.

finneas: jesus i thought you died

well hello to you too

finneas: sadie told me you looked down when you guys were out.

finneas: she also told me how you haven't left your room since 6pm.

finneas: not be weird but... don't you have to pee?

i laughed at finn's ridiculous messages. he always found a way to cheer me up. that's one thing i love about him. wait love?