When They See Us (Book 1.0)

Chapter Six

I just didn't want to go home. Daniel had a ton of people in the house having a party. It was too loud to sleep that night, so I walked to school, hoping a door to the building would be open, but there wasn't. I was way too tired at one in the morning to walk back home, so I slept in my hoodie and sweatpants, outside, on one of the school's benches.

Mrs. Reed made me tell her everything that was going on at home after she found me that morning. But I begged her not to go to the authorities because I only had one year left. If she told anyone about what was going on at home, they would take me from my adopted dad, and I would lose my free tuition to go to college. I really needed the money to leave. I can't stay here any longer. I need a change of environment so I can try putting an end to my addiction, finish school and make something of myself. It's all just easier said than done. I want so badly to not share the same fate as my mother. I know I can beat the odds. I just need help and time.

Once I reached my bedroom, I locked the door and threw my school bag on the floor, taking off my hoodie and shoes, falling over on my bed. I pull my phone out and start scrolling on social media.

I follow Adelaide on Instagram, and sometimes, I find myself getting lost scrolling through her page. She is so beautiful. I just wish she saw me. I know the guys pick on me at school for not having expensive things or dressing as nice, but they also pester me for being gay. I can't help who and what I like. I honestly don't even know how they figured it out. I don't think they truly know if I am or not, they just probably believe it because I rejected all of them our freshman year, which was when I knew I was queer.

News flash, I'm bisexual. I just choose not to date or sleep with anyone in my school. It's too much drama. I hate drama and confrontation, which is why I allow them to pick on me. There's no point in putting up a fight for those losers to get a kick out of it. I did in the beginning to defend myself, and most of them stopped once I beat their ass. But because Mrs. Reed told me I need to walk away, I don't try now, so those delinquents think I'm showing weakness or whatever. I have a goal for my future, and getting through high school in one piece will help me achieve that goal and get out of this crack house.

I continue scrolling, seeing pictures of her and her new best friend. Well technically, Gina, Addy, and I were all friends in middle school. They were both my friends, mainly Adelaide, though.

Adelaide has so many followers. These people swoon at her feet, and she loves it. But she will never notice me, so I just continue to dream about being with her. I've had a crush on Adelaide since we were eleven. I never told her though, and when things got rough in my house, I pulled away from her. I just wish she would have pulled me back.

I'm too far gone now.

I roll over in my bed, putting my phone down and looking at my backpack. Mrs. Reed's voice pops in my head, telling me to keep my grades up. I'm actually not dumb... I just don't apply myself. I get up to grab my homework and get started on it but as soon as I start, my nose begins to run, and I feel my body getting heated. I remember I haven't taken anything since last night. I only take enough to keep my body from going into withdrawal. When the symptoms come, I give in.

The sweat starts to drip down my face, and I know I'm coming down from the high and need something. I get the baggy out of my draw and use an old torn card to shape it before snorting a line. I lay down on my bed, waiting for the withdrawal to subside and the Coke to take effect. I function better on it than off. I've become so numb to the impact of the substance that being on it feels like my normal.

I don't really smoke because I hate the taste of nicotine, and I've now become nose blind to the smell. It's a new addiction. I only smoke when I'm stressed though, like on the way home from school. I was stressed that Mrs. Reed is making me walk with her daughter to classes. She thinks it will stop them from bullying me. Adelaide could make them stop if she cared enough, but she doesn't, so she is wasting her time by making us do this. What's the point of popularity if you can't influence people to be good? I think she and Gina only do it for the free party entries and booze...and of course the feeling of power. I still get into the parties with no problem because the booze man supplies me with the baggies of nose candy.

As I lay here, lighting another cigarette and blowing the smoke into the air, all I can think about is Adelaide. I pull her Instagram back up and scroll further down her page. I think I'm like 47 weeks deep, and I stop to admire the picture of her Camden and Rayden. Something tickles my throat, and I cough, which leads to my finger slipping and hitting the like button. My eyes grew big, knowing she would get the notification and think I was stalking her. I get up and start pacing around my room with the phone in my hand.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! What should I do?" I scream to myself.

Daniel knocks on my door and speaks through it. "Are you good Mays? Did you run out again?"

"Yeah... No... Shit!. Yes Daniel, I ran out, but I have a plug for the night! But No, I'm fine. Just did something stupid, that's all," I say. and I hear him leave my door.

Just unlike it, dumb ass, she won't notice it. I tell myself, still pacing around the room. I click the unlike button and throw my phone after. I fall flat on my face onto my bed, groaning into my pillow. A notification pops up on my screen, and when I open it, it's a flyer for Kenneth's back-to-school party tonight. Thank heavens my plug will be there, because I just snorted the last of my supply. Remembering Adelaide said something about possibly going tonight, I squeeze the pillow harder against my face and curse myself for snooping so low on her Instagram page. Tonight will be interesting.