One | Steve Rogers

33

" Oh, come on, really? You're gonna do the notebook thing? Why? It's passive aggressive," He sighs.

" You don't talk, I write, " She shrugs as she continues to write, making him sigh.

" Okay, okay," Bucky says, " I crossed a name off the list of my amends yesterday. Don't worry. I used all your three rules. Senator Atwood. She was a HYDRA pawn for years. Helped her get into office when I was the Winter Soldier. After HYDRA disbanded, she continued to abuse the power I gave her."

" So, rule number one, you can't do anything illegal."

" All I did was give some intel to the aide to convict her, and I wasn't involved in anything else."

" Rule number two?"

" What was rule number two?"

" Nobody gets hurt. It's a big one."

" Then why isn't it rule number one? I didn't hurt anybody. I promise."

" And what about rule number three? The whole point of making amends is to fulfill rule number three."

" You know, you're a cynic, doc. Of course I completed rule number three. I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I am James Bucky Barnes and you're part of my efforts to make amends, " Bucky says, then gives a forced smile.

" So, you did it alright, but it didn't help with the nightmares," Dr. Raynor says.

" Well, like I said, I didn't have any," He lies once more.

The doctor pauses for a moment.

" Look..." She says, " one day, you're gonna have to open up and understand that some people really do wanna help you and that they can be trusted."

" I trust people," He says.

" Yeah? Give me your phone," The doctor says, then Bucky tosses her his phone and she goes through it, " You don't have ten phone numbers on this thing. Oh, and you've been ignoring texts from Sam. You put Lauren on your speed dial, but haven't made a single call. Look, you've got to nurture friendships. I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad," and she tosses his phone back, " You're alone. You're a hundred years old. You have no history, no family..."

" Are you lashing out at me, doc? Because that's really unprofessional, you know? I mean, when did that start? Yelling at clients?" He asks, only making her slap the notebook down on her lap, " Oh, the notebook. That's great," he sighs, " Alright, give me a break. I'm trying, okay? This isn't... this is new for me. I didn't have a moment to deal with anything, you know? I had little... calm in Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another for 90 years."

" So, now that you've stopped fighting, what do you want?"

Bucky ponders for a moment, his face giving nothing away other than a slight twitch.

" Peace."

" That is utter bullshit."

" You're a terrible shrink."

" I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies, and I know how that can shut you down, " She says, " And if you are alone, that is the quietest most personal hell. And, James, it is very hard to escape. Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but, you've got your mind back, you are being pardoned, I mean, these are good things. You're free."

" To do what?" He asks.

" To go have coffee with your friend," The doctor says, " The walls are thin."

The session comes to an end, and Bucky leaves the shrink's office to find Lauren waiting patiently with two cups of coffee in her hands, and he can't help but smile. She sees him and hands him his cup, and with no words, they both leave the building and begin their walk.

The New York atmosphere fills their senses as they walk side by side. Neither speaking, but both enjoying the company. But eventually, they can't help but break the silence.

" How long have you been seeing Dr. Raynor?" Bucky asks.

" Today was my first session," Lauren responds, " I got... transferred from my previous therapist."

" And how do you like her?" He asks.

" She reminds me of me," She says, " She doesn't take any bullshit."

" Yeah, no kidding," Bucky mumbles.

So many questions still loom in the air, but they're avoided as if they're a poisonous gas. As if asking them will destroy the possibility of a nice moment.

Lauren makes good on her word and walks with Bucky all the way back to his apartment, but when they arrive, his neighbor is stirring up some trouble. Bucky approaches the old man to stop him from arguing with his neighbor while Lauren holds onto his coffee cup.

" Yori, you can't keep fighting with your neighbors. Come on, let's get some food," Bucky says as they walk down the alley.

" No, go away," Yori says.

" But Izzy. We always go to Izzy on Wednesday," Bucky says.

" I'm not in the mood today," Yori says.

" Hey, what if I buy?" Bucky asks.

The older man stops walking down the alley then turns around from the offer.

" Fine, but no talking," He says, then turns his head to the woman, " Who's she?"

" She's... my friend," Bucky says.

" Hajimemashite, Nakajima-san (Nice to meet you, Mr. Nakajima)," Lauren says with a bow.

And Yori can't help but smile.

" Anata no nihongo wa totemo jōzudesu (Your Japanese is very good)" He says.

" Arigatō (Thank you)"