final round - lrh

fifty-eight.

"I don't know," I say, tugging the blanket up to my chin as Luke's free from his shirt as well and starts walking towards the bed. "I just think we said a lot to Declan that we never really talked about before. I wanted to see if your words were sincere or not, I guess."

This earns an immediate laugh from Luke as he approaches the bed, tugging back the covers as he says, "Of course, they were sincere, Lila. Are you crazy?"

"Well, I don't know," I quickly insist. "We've never really said these things to one another and I didn't know if you felt that was something you needed to say to Declan in order to get him to feel better about the idea of us."

Luke shakes his head, still chuckling softly as he climbs into the bed beside me, allowing the blankets to quickly consume him as he lays on his side, turning his body to face me. I mirror his movements, turning on my side as well, and give him my full attention as I wait for him to speak up.

"Lila, I wouldn't say those kinds of things if I didn't mean them."

I know Luke to be a genuine person so I do feel guilty questioning the sincerity behind his words but I also don't want to get too ahead of myself and get my hopes up. There's no question that I have strong feelings for Luke and I just wanted some form of confirmation that this was a mutual thing. Even if he spewed that all out earlier, I need to hear it again from him, with just the two of us in the room.

"I believe you," I say softly, looking down for a moment. "I just- I don't know. I didn't want to get in over my head."

His eyes watch me carefully, listening to every word I have to say as I have no doubt that he plans on shutting down any sense of doubt I have at this moment. In fact, I'm almost certain that he's probably concerned to hear these words from me as he's proven time and time again that I really don't have a reason to have concerns when it comes to him.

"That's impossible, Lila," he says, his voice stern and serious, as if insistent on making sure I hear him clearly. "I'm so crazy about you... I don't want you to ever feel any uncertainty in that."

"I know but these circumstances we're under, it makes it hard for me to feel like we're anything more than we are. We haven't really established anything or talked about what could happen between us if we make it out of here. I just-- I don't want to have unrealistic expectations."

Luke furrows his eyebrows as if confused entirely but what I have to say. I anticipate his response, not understanding where his confusion is stemming from as this is one of the few times we've really talked about what's going on between us.

"I thought it was obvious," he says. "I thought that when we make it out of here we'll be together."

When we make it out of here.

His words are confident, proving he has not even considered the possibility that one of us could potentially not make it out alive. Instead, it seems like he's viewing this stage as a minor obstacle for us and the second we overcome it, we can delve into our relationship fully.

"Luke, we don't know if we both will-"

"Well, why would we think about the possibility of us not making it out?" he asks, holding my gaze as we remain hardly a foot away from one another. "Why can't we just be optimistic and plan what our life will be like together once we make it out?"

My heart flutters at his choice to use the word 'plan'.

Has he been envisioning a life for us out of this? Has he planned things on his own? Has he not even thought about the possibility of walking out of here without me? Does his idea of his future only consist of me?