ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

26.

"So?"

"I don't know-I just find myself deliberately distancing myself from him but I don't mean to, I just want time for Rylan and I-I don't know, it's weird."

"It's not weird."

""Really?"

"Mhm, he's a prick if he's forcing you to spend time with him." His voice was certain.

"You'd think.. I just-he's been so different I feel like I'm questioning myself." My arms seemed to protect me, from what exactly, that I didn't know? Like a barrier for my feelings yet I couldn't decide wether I was shielding myself from the truth or not.

"What's in tail is so different?"

"He's more.. pushy. He's demanding more time and.. and."

"Sex?"

"Yeah, that." I nodded.

"Well, you shouldn't let people force you into doing something you don't want to do, especially sex."

"But I feel like I owe it to him, if it's me who's distancing myself from him don't you think I at leaset owe it to him?"

"No, absolutely not. You shouldn't be with a guy who's making you have sex with him to make up your absence. Presence is a gift, it shouldn't be made up with false presence. If he doesn't get that, then I don't know what to tell you?"

I laughed to myself before adverting my gaze from the concrete to his face.

"You're right, I should just talk to him."

"That's all it takes. A simple conversation."

The clouds have been grey all morning and I should've noted that while bypassing the umbrella sitting beside my front door.

"Shit." He mumbled while looking so at the drizzle.

"Kind of regretting the umbrella I was going to bring." I nervously chuckled.

"Here." He shrugged off his black jacket and began to drape it over us. Shielding us from the droplets of rain.

"We don't want you getting wet now do we?"

Well.

"Yeah." My voice was laced with concern.

"This better be one good god damn toy."

-

"No! Oh my gosh, it was terrible, sequels are always worse than the original." I laughed.

"I loved the second back to the future! It was way better than the first one."

I know you like it Khyson, I know you like Black Panther better than Spider-Man, I know you love watching the office.

"What's your favourite movie then?!"

"The wizard of Oz, always."

"Boring, that's like the worst movie to ever exist."

We'd been rambling for hours, I hadn't realized that the store was opening soon. I had gotten lost within this fricken charming self, ugh! I hated myself for folding so easily. I wasn't supposed to be interacting with him this much, I wasn't supposed to be smiling when he made a joke. I wasn't supposed to be around him.

But it was even more depressing when the doors opened and I ran inside to an empty shelf.

Sold out

I sighed in defeat and bought a couple other toys knowing well that it would be sold out everywhere else. I bought an action figure, another car and a Lego set.

Except I couldn't give him what he really wanted.

After paying with my card I said a quick by to Khyson and locked myself inside my car.

Great.

Incoming call from: Amara 💕

I swiped the pad of my thumb against the phone screen and held it up to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Ariya, how are you."

"Pretty, crappy, you?"

"Same."

"Eh, the feeling's Mutual." I chuckled while leaning my elbow on the window.

"Kameron told me you're having Christmas dinner with you brothers, right?" My brows furrowed and I smiled.

"Yeah? Why?"

"Kamerons parents are going away and I was wo-"
"If you could have dinner with us?" I filled her in.

"Yeah, is that okay?"

"Of course it is, I'm sure they'd love you guys."

"Thank you so much!"