To What Was Ours

repenting (seokjin)

'Hey, kook.

I don't know where to start with this. And honestly, I'm not too excited, either. But everyone's saying it'll be good for us to get into the habit. At least until we're all okay.

That seems unlikely. I don't know if we'll ever be okay.

I'm doing it for the team, though. The thing we need most right now is unity. I can't help but feel like we're all planets drifting around a star, moving in the same direction but never coming close enough to touch. I feel so lonely, sometimes.

I have to write to you every day. Morning or night, it doesn't matter. I've chosen morning because that's when my head is most clear. I can think whatever I feel in the moment without a whole day's worth of thoughts plaguing me.

And I think it's stupid because you'll never see it. You'll never read any of our letters.

I'm writing to a ghost, kook, can you believe it?

But I'll do it. I'll give it a chance. Maybe it'll start to bring all these jagged pieces together, and we'll be okay.

I love you. I wish I got to tell you that one last time.

Your Jin Hyung.'

---

Three Weeks Earlier

Thunder rumbled in the distance, powerful enough to gently shake the windows of the dorm. Rain pattered against the beaten glass with a vengeance, and beyond the noise, Seokjin could vaguely hear water boiling.

He stood, stretching out his back with a satisfying pop, and went to gently lay the tea bags over the edge of the pot, wishing he had brought his tea maker from his apartment. Now that all of them were well into their adulthood years, and had garnered enough wealth to afford it within the competitive South-Korean real estate, each had their own places to head home to at the end of the day.

More often than not, the bangtan dorm was empty. They didn't necessarily avoid it, but having space to themselves every night was too desirable to pass upon. They saw each other every day, anyway. And if needed, none lived too far for another to swing by.

All seven had planned to return to their respective homes after their schedule had ended, however, the sudden and harsh rainfall led them all to agree to stay the night together - the ride was short and they could pile in together in a company van, avoiding seven treks through the foggy roads.

None minded. In fact, they were a bit excited. It had been a while, and scheduling a night in together with no choice of heading outside did seem like a fun way to end the week.

Seokjin smiled slightly to himself, hearing the laughs coming from the room over. The younger ones were certainly enjoying themselves, screeching and falling over at whatever joke one was making.

Judging by what he could hear, Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung were in the living room, relishing in the stress-free situation. Yoongi, last he checked, was napping, soothed by nature's noise, and Namjoon was likely tucked up somewhere comfortable, scrolling through his phone.

He listened to the rain outside, fierce and angry. The cloud must have been carrying evaporation for weeks, finally dropping its weight and allowing itself to cry it all out. He couldn't deny that Seoul had needed it, but it was odd it was so intense. The sounds of his dongsaeng's were loud enough to distract him from it, anyway. There wasn't anything to worry about.