More To Him (LokixReader)

Chapter 46

At that moment I kind of hated Odin. He was nothing like in the mythology. My heart broke then. Loki would never forgive me for leaving. Perhaps he'd think I didn't love him or that I was somewhat trying to protect him with my absence. I didn't want to leave Asgard yet, Loki and the kids needed me. What would happen to Syn, Agata and June if I left? They were my responsibility.

"If everything is clear you may leave. I thank you for your service."

Odin left the room, and the grand doors echoed in his absence. I looked up at Thor who looked down at me sadly. I knew it wasn't his fault, I knew he couldn't do anything else for me, but I could still see the guilt in his eyes.

Tears left my eyes again and I let my body collapse to the floor. I cried silently as I tried to hold the weight of my body with my palms. I felt like the ground was swallowing me and I was drowning. I felt cheated even though nothing ensured I'd even get to live after everything. At least I got to walk out of Asgard with a head and a beating heart－barely.

Thor knelt next to me and embraced me tightly. I kept making a fool out of myself in front of my friends, but my cup was full and I could no longer contain the overflowing emotions I had kept hidden within me.

"It's going to be alright." Thor whispered, caressing the back of my head and rocking us side to side in an attempt to calm me. I really wanted to believe him. Though I had won a war against a supernatural creature now I had to fight the battle in my heart and accept reality. Fate had brought me to that moment, and perhaps all I could do was accept things as they were.

I didn't have much to pack. I had only taken my sword with me anyway. I dressed up in the simplest way possible and then went over to the kid's room. I was nervous. It was absurd to be afraid of what children might think, but I had let them down and I had lied to them. I had posed as a character they admired and gained their respect, faith and admiration through deception. And now I was leaving Asgard when I had made a promise to their mother that I would take care of them until she returned.

The day before, Frigga had assured me that she would take care of the children, so at least I knew they would be left in safe hands.

I knocked at the door and then walked in. Agata and June were playing with their stuffed toys and Syn sat at the bed, reading another book from the royal library. Agata, though, was the first to look up. "LADY ASTRID!" She screamed, bolted to her feet and ran towards me. I captured her in my arms and twirled us around. I was glad they were fine after the war.

June got up and hugged my waist with an adorable smile and I ruffled his head in return. Syn looked up from her book and slowly smiled at me. I put Agata down and asked the youngest ones to sit on their bed.

"So..." Syn spoke as I sat next to the youngsters on their bed. "You aren't a Valkyrie."

I smiled sadly and nodded. "I'm really sorry, Syn. I lied to the three of you. I had a reason to, but I felt guilty of gaining your trust even when I didn't deserve it. And now I won't even be able to keep my promise to your mother."

"What?" She perked up, indignity drawing over her facial features.

"Odin thought it was better if I left Asgard. My existence here has caused great damage, I lied and tricked people. I was left off the hook for keeping my promise that I would save the nine realms. I did, now I must leave. I'm a human, I don't belong in Asgard."

Syn shook her head, a frown creasing her forehead. "No. No! Our mother was taken away from us, Odin can't take you away too! I don't care what you did or who you are. Despite your lies you meant to keep up safe. You gave us a home, you gave us an opportunity. You can't leave, Lady Astrid, please don't go." For the first time Syn almost tackled me with a hug. She cried on my shoulder. I hugged her back and tried calming her down. Agata and June looked worried and also huddled to my side.