Just This Once || Erenxreaderxjean

36

Shit, Eren almost tripped over his own foot.

Was this how Jean felt?

"Eren, why are you moping?", Hange called out.

Eren looked over at them.

"I'm not."

"You've been muttering nonsense for the past 20 minutes, keep dropping sterile equipment, and almost just ate concrete because you tried to walk over your own foot. Unless you've just had a stroke, I'd say you're moping," Hange concluded as they spun around taking a quick break from tattooing their client.

Eren just stared at them for a moment, before returning his gaze to the ground. "I fucked things up," he whispered.

Luckily Hange had great hearing.

"Well why don't you just un-fuck them?", they asked, as they turned back around to continued tattooing the client.

"Un-fuck them?", Eren muttered.

"I tried that with my ex-wife," the client spoke up. He was a bald man, his face was weathered, and his smile was devious. "Doesn't always work, apparently children are nonrefundable!"

Hange laughed along with the man.

"But kid, you just gotta grab this situation by the balls, and show it who's boss."

"What?", Eren stared dumbfounded at the man.

"My ex-wife grabbed my balls one time.. I have to say, it wasn't unpleasant. A couple shots of tequila before you go at it and you feel like a horse prancing through a rainbow on a jazzy December morning."

"Um, okay," Eren said.

"But you just march right on up there and tell them, 'This divorce is long overdue!' Always take the dog, son, you hear me? No ball grabbing is worth a dog. Especially when the woman wouldn't even salt her pasta water. She was a menace that woman, I'll tell ya-"

"Hange, is he okay?", Eren whispered.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, he's fine! Always does this," they said as the man continued to ramble. "So what was it that you fucked up?"

"I-," Eren had trouble gathering his thoughts. Nothing the man said made any sense, and he didn't just fuck up one thing. "It's a long story."

"So make it short my boy," the man said with a wince as Hange inked his skin.

"Uh," Eren gulped. "Okay. Here goes. Two years ago I accused my best friend of sleeping with my girlfriend, but he didn't actually do that, he really rejected her for our friendship even though he was, and still is, in love with her. And so I've been an absolute asshole to him and every other person for the past couple years based on a misunderstanding, but now I met this girl, and she's amazing, and I think I'm falling in love with her, but Jean likes her, too, even though he still loves Mikasa. But he won't admit he loves Mikasa, so this girl is just gonna end up getting hurt and it's just this whole big mess and it's all my fault because he's right I never fucking listened and now I'm gonna lose her and I-"

"I said make it short," the man interrupted.

"What?", Eren asked. He hadn't even realized he was rambling.

"Son, my brain is the size of a bean, I can't retain that much information. Not to mention the tequila. You keep going like that and I'll show up to therapy next week and start thinking I'm you, and you're me, and we all live in bikini bottom happily ever after."

Hange slapped the man's arm.

"Okay, okay. So what you're saying is that you fucked up by being a dick to your best friend and now the girl you're falling in love with is caught in the middle, and you think your best friend doesn't love her but you do?"