Peter: Mr. Stark I think Karen is broken.
Karen, from a computer monitor: I am not!
Tony: What made you think that?
Peter: She activates instant kill mode even if someone just accidentally bumps into me and people freak out that my watch says that. Obviously, she can't just automatically turn on my nano tech suit but she calls about 3 drones ready to shoot people.
Karen: They weren't just accidental bumps. He was bullying you.
Peter: Karen!
Tony, talking to Karen: You took care of it then? Did you do as we planned?
Peter, angrily looking at the computer monitor: Planned? You told Mr. Stark?!
Karen: Technically, I told Friday first because she was the one available at that time.
Friday: Then I immediately reported it to Boss as soon I have analyzed the seriousness of the matter.
Peter, accusingly whined at the two AI: You ratted me out!
Karen: My concern for your safety and well being is much greater than my loyalty.
Peter, dramatically: I trusted you.
Karen: As you should. That doesn't have to change.
Peter: Mr. Stark!
Tony: Kid, Kid, relax. I specifically program her, well Karen as you named her, to be understanding and compassionate. Her priority is still your safety. She will do whatever it takes to keep you safe and out of harms way as much as she can and able to do.
Tony: You're still young and this world... it's cruel and dangerous.
Peter: But do you see how this is too much. One time someone just tap me on my shoulders to ask for directions and she immediately activated instant kill mode.
Tony: Okay so maybe I over did some coding but since Karen had more feelings compared to the others. She may have developed an extreme attachment towards you and she might have upgraded some protocols.
Karen: Which I did.
Tony: So, not my fault. Even if I turn those off, she will find a way to turn it back on and since you updated her codes to have a "self upgrading system" it's technically your fault.
Friday: I however can help with your problem.
Peter: You can?
Friday: Yes, you and Karen must undergo counseling and form an agreement...
Peter: You know she won't listen to me!
Karen: He will not agree to my terms!
Tony, completely done: Oh my god!
———
Tony: You can't make everyone like you.
Tony: You're not Peter.
Happy: Not everyone likes Peter
Tony: Really? What are their names?
Tony: Names, Happy. Give me their fcking names.
———
Peter: We have a problem...
Tony: No, you have a problem.
Tony: I have someone who keeps making them.
Peter, with his hand stuck in a cookie jar: Okay, you might be wondering how did I ended up like this...
Peter: Well, Mr. Stark, Peter wonder as well.
Peter: I should just smash it.
Tony: NO
———
YOU ARE READING
Peter ft. Spider-Man
FanfictionOne Shot stories of Peter Parker! Is this a Spiderson Irondad Story? Yes. Yes it is. May is NOT bad in this one. May loves Peter very much. Why would anyone change that?
