(This is on November 30th, the day before Y/N's death)
Blitz POV
Well this is shit. It's so boring around here when there's no clients, I'm seriously considering texting Stolas and asking if I can come over. I think about what I could do. could jerk off I guess, nah that's not a thing I should do at work. Maybe I can take the crew out for lunch? Nah, the cleanse is happening tomorrow so we all agreed to hang out here till it's over. Well shit, I'm stuck, what do we do? I walk out of my office and ask the crew.
Blitz: The fuck can we do to stave off the boredom?
Millie: I dunno bro
Moxxie: Anybody bring any board games?
Loona: Why would we bring board games to work fatty?
Moxxie: Loona you weigh more than I do, if either of us are fat it's you
Loona: Listen here you bitch
A full blown fist fight breaks out between the three. For fucks sake why is this so common?
Blitz: STOP THE FUCKING FIGHT!
They all snap to attention, I don't typically yell so they know I'm angry. I just sigh and shake my head, pinching the bridge of my nose
Blitz: You three have got to get your shit together very soon or this company is going to fall apart.
Millie and Moxxie look each other with sad looks, Loona is just apathetic to it, still just surprised I had yelled so loudly.
Loona: Uhhhh Imma go get coffee.
Blitz: Alright.
She leaves.
POV change, Loona POV
Sweet Satan in hell, that was weird. He never yells, not at me at least. I'm just headed out to the store to find something to eat, and grab a few things to do. I walk into the super center. I see a German soldier looking at the phones confusedly.
German Soldier: what the fuck? What're these weird tiny bricks?!
Loona: they're called Cellphones
German Soldier: the fucks a cellphone?
Loona: they're like a telephone, but better
German soldier: extreme confusion
Ughhh this guy is dumb
Loona: What's your name?
German Soldier: Fritz F, why?
Loona: need to add you to my dumbass registry.
Fritz: that's a thing?
Loona: yup, for special people like you
Fritz: first off fuck you, and second, cool I guess.
Loona: bye bye idiot
I walk over to the board games. Battle of the Sexes? Nah, the last time we played that Millie almost mauled blitz. Cards Against Humanity? Sure, that's fun. I toss it into the basket I'd grabbed. Monopoly? No, not after the incident of 1913. New phone who dis? Sure, in the basket. What do you meme? Why not. Maybe I could try that DND Moxxie likes so much? Fuck that, that's a nerd's game. TBH, the game of honest answers and outrageous questions? No, Millie almost mauled me the last time we played that. Chess? I'd sooner hang around the park during the Cleanse tomorrow. I think that's enough. Hey there might be a new edition of Hellhound weekly out, I'll go check.
Several minutes later
Some fucking dick head took the last copy they had out of my basket! WHAT THE FUCK?!
Loona: HEY WHAT THE FUCK? That's for hellhounds!
It was a succubus, A FUCKING SUCCUBUS!
Succubus: Oh go suck one you Hellhound slut
Loona: oh I'll show you a thing or two bitch!
It turns into a full blown fist fight, in which I win. I take the magazine and walk to the checkout counter, where a fellow hound was standing bored out of his mind.
Cashier: saw you got in a fistfight, what happened?
Loona: she stole something out of my basket and called me a slut when I called her out on it.
Cashier: you think it was racism?
Loona: oh most definitely, you know how shit it is to be a hellhound down here
Cashier: yeah I know, why do sinners hold a higher social rank than us? It's stupid!
Loona: I know, being the bottom of the totem pole is a pain in the ass. I really wish it was more acceptable for Hellhounds to just, exist.
Hell's rank structure makes absolutely no sense to me. Hellhounds can seriously fuck you up if you piss them off, they should be feared and respected over a majority of creatures and demons above them in the ranks. I just pay for the stuff and leave, making sure to stop at Hellbucks to get my usual, coffee with three pumps of vanilla, not two, three.
Twenty minutes later
THESE MOTHERFUCKERS FUCKED UP MY ORDER! GRRRRRRRRR IMMA KILL A BITCH!
Another twenty minutes later
Okay I kicked some serious ass and it felt, so, fucking, good. I walked around town for a bit before I returned to the office. I had walked in, the guys were bullshitting like usual and I was walking towards my desk. Life is gonna be boring.
Chapter End
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The Kraut in Hell {rewrite} (Helluva Boss Loona x Reader)
FanfictionY/N Fuchs, a 17 year boy , enlisted in the German Army on July 28th 1914. Upon his death on Tuesday, December 1st, 1914, he gets sent to hell on account of his sins. When he gets there, there's a surprising lack of people, and fire. As he explores a...
