Grian x reader Oneshots

Our Lord and Savior

The photo above is by Dixon-Sol on Reddit. It's really cool and thought it would work with this story!

"Where is it," I mused as I scoured Grian's house. Currently I was peeking around the chests of his wool storage. "The Tegg must be around here somewhere."

Grian's house was a mess, as per usual. His array of chests, shulker boxes, and scattered farms made my searching more difficult. Eventually I searched the whole house until I was left with the sheep farm.

"Excuse me, sheep. Do you happen to know where the Tegg is?"

The sheep gave me a blank stare and continued nibbling on its grass. I huffed, my breath blowing a few hairs from my face. Inspecting the farm, something caught my eye. Something black stuck out amongst the green background. Purple particles gently drifted around the black object. I couldn't stop my big smile. I found it. Now to just get to it. I spied a free minecart and, after squeezing myself through the gap, I tumbled inside. Righting myself, I crawled out, careful of the wiring running behind the farm. And there sat the Tegg. It was sat unceremoniously on a pile of dirt. Stepping over the wiring, I gingerly picked up the egg and passed it between my hands. Magic radiated off the special egg, and the purple particles continued floating around it as I held the precious thing in my hands. I carefully tucked the Tegg in my cross body bag and started the process of getting out. Setting my bag in the minecart first, I wiggled my way back inside. The bag went out first again, and I squeezed my way through to the inside of Grian's house. I was about halfway out of the minecart when someone screamed.

"My heart! My poor little heart!"

I jolted my head up to see Grian clutching his chest as he stood at the top of the stairs. In shock of seeing the house's owner, my head shot up and collided with the shelf above me.

"Ow! Ugh, ouch that hurt that hurt."

"(Y/n), what are you doing in my wool farm?" Grian asked, still trying to calm down from the scare.

"Uh, nothing?" I said while running my head. Finally I squeezed myself out and grabbed my bag off the floor. As I go to pick it up, the Tegg rolls out of my bag and across the floor. I swipe it up as quick as I can, but Grian knows I've found it now.

"Dang it. I thought that was the perfect place to hide the Tegg. I didn't think anyone would find it there."

"Well, I did. I searched your entire house and I found it." I sauntered past him and towards the door. "And now if you'll excuse me, I need to find a nice place for the Tegg to sit inside my base."

When I was clear of Grian's property, I shot up into the sky with the help of my elytra. Looking back over my shoulder as I took off, Grian stood in the doorway. I knew he was already trying to figure out where I was hiding the Tegg. Fortunately for me, we both thought alike. That's how I managed to find it in his sheep farm. Unfortunately for me, we both thought alike. That's how I know he'll likely know where it would be hidden. However, I had an idea so unlike myself that there was no possible way Grian would find it.

Flying to my cabin, I made sure to bundle up before heading to my hiding spot. An avalanche had recently buried one side of my cabin, so much so that I couldn't open any windows on that side. A recent snowstorm coupled with current construction projects sent the wave of snow down the slope. The snow there wasn't packed as much as the rest around my house. With my shovel, I dug out a patch of snow. The Tegg nestled nicely under an icy shelf which I reinforced with wood. Hopefully no one would find it here.

I had just headed inside and made some hot chocolate when my doorbell rang. Confused, I grabbed my mug and walked to the door. Outside stood two people dressed in obvious disguises.

I blinked in confusion. The voice was definitely Grian's, but everything else was decidedly...not Grian. Instead of a red sweater, the man in front of me had on a black suit jacket and red tie that looked suspiciously like Mumbo Jumbo's suit. The lady next to pseudo-Grian was clearly Pearl, but again, decidedly...not. I, for one, have never seen Pearl with firetruck red hair and in a pencil skirt which obviously wasn't very warm. Both had terrible wigs that did little to cover their actual hair.

"Would you like to hear about our lord and saviour, the Spaghetti Monster?"

"Uh," I started, unsure what they were getting at.

"It just takes a few minutes to hear about the Spaghetti Monster!" Pearl spoke up.

"Yes!" Grian spoke up. "The Spaghetti Monster is the way to happiness both here and in the next worlds."

"Ok, besides happiness, what positive benefits can I expect from the Spaghetti Monster?"

Grian and Pearl stared at each other, clearly not expecting me to carry on this little skit of theirs. Normally I wouldn't, but burying the Tegg took a good bit of energy. All I wanted to do now was sleep but for some reason I found this too entertaining.

"Besides eternal happiness," Grian started, "the Spaghetti Monster promises safety and to preserve your shakras."

"But first," Pearl continued," "we must perform a ritual around the property in order to know for sure if the Spaghetti Monster does accept you as one of their children."

Before I could stop them, they began performing their "ritual" around my house, nearly stepping on the Tegg's hiding spot as they walked past. Frantically, I grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around my shoulders before following them out into the snow.

"Be careful!" I called as I hurried to catch up with them.

"Why should we be careful?" Grian jabbed as he continued walking. "Is there something hidden around here in the snow?"

"No, the snow's just really-"

A low rumble sounded from the mountain, and a few bits of snow started rolling down the slopes. We all froze and stared up at the mountain, hoping an avalanche wouldn't follow. I carefully made my way over to the Spaghetti Monster evangelists and back to the relative safety of my cabin's porch.

"The mountain has been having avalanches a lot recently, and the snow around here is very unstable. So please kindly leave before any of us, or my cabin, is buried by an avalanche. I'm not interested in joining another variation of the 'peace, love, and plants' cult."

I shut the door in their faces and made my way back to the fireplace in my living room. The mountain rumbled quieter this time, almost like it was proud of itself. I shook my head and smiled. Having lived in the snowy peaks so long, I knew the mountain spirits didn't like other supposed deities trying to take over their territory. Even fictional ones.