Loki/Tom x reader one shots

PTSD

Tw: torture, PTSD

My eyes slowly open as i hear loud noises outside the dark room I'm trapped in, my wrists chained on top of my head holding all my weight since my legs have stopped working a couple of days ago from the exhaustion. The noise outside has died down and my door slowly opens, i wince at the light coming in the room as i turn my head away from it.
"y/N...?" I could recognize that voice anywhere, Loki, i try to talk but everything that comes out of my mouth is a small whimper. I turn my head back to the light and see his silhouette approaching fast. "I'm here y/n, were taking you out of here", he frees my wrists and my body immediately gives up, he catches me, he tries to hold me as careful as possible but everything hurts, i hiss at every movement he makes, luckily he teleports us directly to the quinjet were everybody is already waiting. I shut my eyes and cry and yell in pain as he gets me on an improvised bed to lay me in. "Y/N, were it hurts?" Bruce asks as he gets closer kneeling down. "Everywhere" i manage to breath out, my voice nearly audible. He holds a syringe and puts it closer and closer to my arm, "this will calm you down, i need you to relax" he calmly says as he injects me with something making me almost immediately pass out.
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I open my eyes blinking slowly, everything is a bit blurry and muffled. As i see silhouettes walking around some just standing there, i can feel stuff attached to my body. I start to panic since. I don't remember when they took me out, god knows what they'll do today. They attach something else on my torso making me flinch violently, someone grabs me by the arm and i flinch again, they're saying something but i can't hear it, what if they electrocute me again, i can't stop myself from panicking more and i close my eyes shut ready for the pain. But it never came.

I slowly open my eyes i can see better since Is darker,the room now is empty, i look at my side and see Loki "l-loki...?" "Hey..." He says softly with a sad smile. "Am i finally dead?" I say smiling weakly. I can see Loki trying to fight back some tears behind that sad smile, "no, you're safe, we found you" he goes to put a hand on my forehead but doge it flinching. He's eyes narrowing my body and looking back at my eyes, "you should rest love, i missed you-" he tries to say, his voice breaking at the last part.  I nod and slowly close my eyes, relaxing  my body, god knows how long it's been since the last time I managed to properly rest.
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It's been a hard week, everything scares me, it reminds me of the torture and my time in the secret Hydra base. I feel sad for Loki, we are together since before the accident and now he can't even touch me without making me flinch or wince.
Loki and i are currently laying on bed cuddling, my head on his chest as he plays with my hair. "Y/N..." I look up at him "i mean no harm but... When was the last time you showered...?" I look away in shame, i actually hadn't had a proper shower since we last saw each other..."i could... Shower with you..." He says, his hand traveling down my back. I i immediately sit up "no!" He looks at me his eyes wide open, taking his hand back as he slowly sits up. "I-i-i-i mean-" i try to say, his eyebrows furrowed, i look forward trying not to look at him, "i can do it. Alone" "do as you please" he says giving me a sad but warm smile.

I get in the bathroom with some fresh clothes and close the door. Anxiety already creeping up as i take my clothes off, scars and recent wounds painted all over my body, hot tears fill my eyes, i let them fall, there's no one here to see me crying so, does it matter? I take a shaky breath before entering the shower. I let the warm water fall on me as i hold myself on the wall.

"If you don't speak we will make you, don't do this more unpleasant for yourself" Mr. Rubio says as he slowly approaches at the chair I'm held to. "I've already told you, I'm not part of the avengers... I just do paperwork" i try to say breathing heavily. "Okay, boys" he snaps his fingers and suddenly my chair leans back so my face is pointing to the ceiling. A piece of clothing is placed on my face as i hear Mr. Rubio approaching. "Remember, you chose the hard way" he starts pouring water on the cloth on top of my face, suffocating and slowly drowning me. I feel myself chocking, the water entering my lungs even though I'm holding my breath. He keeps pouring water and i try to kick my legs, move my arms frantically, trying to get out of my restrains, the water keeps chocking me, i feel like I'm going to die.