Bride of War (18+)

41

Fallon raised her brows, getting up and circling the temple in a flash. "Didn't find any flags with death on them."

I chuckle.

"Settle down," Slade booms. "Backs straight, mouths closed. Eat. Tonight we will train until dawn. So save your strength."

"Aw, man. I thought you had that guy Slade."

Slade raises his brow. "I do. You don't. And in the event I'm not there, you need to hold your own."

Dion leaned back with a sigh. "Or what? We're only human after all. Lived longer than we should've. But in the end—"

Slade slams his fist on the table. "You're not allowed to die. None of you. That is the end of the story. Now eat, or I will make you do sword drills until your muscles snap, I will heal you and do it again."

He clenched his jaw, but his handshakes. I realize Slade isn't Afraid of Orion. He never has been.

He's afraid of losing them. He doesn't show it with softness, instead being more rigid with them. I squeeze his hand.

His red eyes dart to me, an expression I've never seen.

So much fear. I'm sure he anticipated it would hurt losing him.

But I think it hurt more than he thought it would.

He closes his eyes. "You too, Monika. Eat well."

I smile, filling my plate. He smiles at me, as if grateful.

It's part of the way he shows his love. I don't think they understand that. They grumble but eat quietly.

Then it hits me. But I keep it to myself deciding to ask it later. Dion, however furrows his brows. I watch realization spread across his face.

"If..." he puts his fork down, "If he didn't pose a threat to you...how did you end up in the void?"

Slade freezes, his eyes slowly lifting from his food. He sets his fork down carefully, red eyes darting around the table.

He clears his throat. "Eat Dion."

Dion frowns deeply. "If he didn't pose any threat to you how did he kill you?"

"He didn't kill me," Slade sighs. "Let's leave this topic."

But Dion cannot let it go. "You were gone for months. He struck you down—"

"I let him."

Forks clatter to plates. Po stands in the doorway with a basket of rolls. It falls to floor. My mouth feels dry.

Slade's jaw ticks. "I needed some time and it worked out that he was there. I allowed him to send me back to the void for a...break, of sorts."

"A break from life?" Dion narrows his eyes. "No. No, I...you were crying. You didn't want to go."

Slade looks away. "I felt...remorse. For your pain. And Monika's. To see me that way. To feel responsible. But I needed some time. I just...needed time."

So...he killed himself? Isn't that what he's saying? He wanted to take a vacation so he let another god spear him, separate his soul and spirt, for a break?

I bite down on my lip hard.

"Time?" Solice asks. "You mean death."

"I was not dead."

"You weren't alive," Fallon frowns. "We thought you were gone. We thought we lost you. And you're saying...you didn't even have to die? You just wanted to?"

"He's saying he killed himself." Dion says softly, picking up his fork his face even.

"I was not killed."

This is getting out of hand. How can I fix this?

"Perhaps—"

"You killed yourself. And you didn't even bother to tell me it wasn't my fault you were gone," Dion's voice quivered.

"I was not killed," he intones once more. Such a stickler for it. Maybe because it disguises what he did. I thought I'd be more hurt. We were together. Dion was there. Po too. We were like a little family, in a way.

But he had been suffering for eons. I don't think he thought much about it. I think it's what he wanted for a long time, and an opportunity opened up.

"What about Monika? She started a war for you. To bring you back." Dion frowned. "She will never be the same because of you."

"Enough," he says softly, standing. "I..." He looks around the table, to each of our faces. "I wanted something. I needed something for myself. I am a god. The way I get to rest is to not exist. And I needed a bit of rest."

He looks down. "I understand it has caused turmoil. And I am sorry. I truly am. I didn't mean to hurt you, Dion. Or you Monika. Or you, Fallon and Solice. I just needed a moment to myself. A moment...to not be."

He clears his throat. "I know it was selfish of me. But I also know it is one of the only things I've ever done for me. You all or the other. So I understand if you hate for my choice. But it was...I needed it."

I reach out and squeeze his hand. Fallon runs up to him, and gives him a hug. Solice follows begrudgingly patting his back.

There sits Dion. He's still frowning his eyes on his plate.

"I don't forgive you."

Slade smiles. "I thought you of all people would understand Dion. It's why I thought you may be okay."

"Why the hell would I be okay with that?" He spits.

Slade looks between his eyes. "Because you want to die too. And even though we love you, it doesn't help you wanna be alive. I thought you would understand that feeling. Wanting rest. Wanting...peace."

Dion's eyes widen, glazing over.  "I do understand."

"Then...why?" Slade asks, extending his hand to him.

"Because you're my father."

Slade smiles. "I see. That makes sense. I'm sorry children. I did something I shouldn't have."

Dion takes his hand then, but says nothing.

"But that means you can't die either, Dion." Slade whispers. "Because you're my son. So work hard. Let's make sure we stay alive together. All of us."

Dion smiles.

"Then...let us not speak of this anymore." He says solemnly.

Everyone's head drops. Oh. I guess that wasn't a suggestion. It was meant as an order. He doesn't want to talk about it ever again. He expects they don't mention it.

"Yes father," they chime sullenly.

He pulls them into his arms squeezing the bundle of people, squished together with a small smile.

"Cheer up! After this, we will train, and train, and train and train—"

"Yayy," they flatly cheer, unenthusiastic. I just smile.

It's nice to have a family again.