novacane | s.stan

70|real life

He stood there in front of her door with his hand stretched out ready to knock. It was late into the evening, around eight and he knew she'd be at home. It was as if a wave of nerves suddenly hit him all at once making him freeze in his position. He knew she was still mad at him, he knew she'd probably not want to speak to him right now but he couldn't leave things the way they were. He vowed to himself a long time ago he wouldn't let anything get in between them again.

So he brought his hand to door and knocked, waiting for her to open the door. He heard shuffling behind the door and the sound of a light switch being turned on. She opened the door instantly locking eyes with him, she drew in a breath clearly shocked to be seeing him standing at her doorway. Sebastian took that opportunity to take her in, eyeing her from top to bottom. God, she's beautiful. She was dressed in a pair of yoga pants and an oversized jumper with her long locks tied in some sort of knot on top of her head.

"What are you doing here?" She said opening the door wider to let him in.

He walked in toeing his shoes off at the entry and dropping his bag down. He followed her into the kitchen where she began prepping drinks for them, he sat down at the island noticing how she was avoiding looking at him. Almost as if he knew that if she looked at him she'd give into whatever apology he had ready on the tip of his tongue.

"Nova." She didn't look up but continued pulling the sugar out and spoons.

"Nova would you look at me?" She stopped what she was doing and slowly looking at him finally meeting his eyes since he'd arrived.

"You didn't answer my question." She said walking the side of the island Sebastian was sat at. She pulled a stool out and sat down beside him.

"What question?" He said momentarily trying to get back to his senses, he'd completely forgotten if she'd asked anything.

"I asked what your doing here."

"I think you know the answer to that." He answered.

"What because you managed to piss me off by being stupid?" She said, Sebastian drew a breath in having not expecting her to be so blunt.

I guess I deserved that.

"Nova, I don't like the way we left things."

"Yeah me neither but here we are." He could hear how annoyed she still was in her voice, she was still giving him the cold shoulder.

"I didn't mean to piss you off, that was the last thing I wanted to do and I'm here because I missed you and most importantly wanted to apologise."

"I didn't want you to come." She said. Wow, that stung. He had no idea she was still angry at him.

"Nova I–" Before he could continue she interrupted, "God Sebastian you just really managed to piss me off to the max, and now I'm here saying things I don't mean." She sighed running a hand over her face.

"I regret leaving things the way I did, but I'm not going to lie to you when I'm upset or mad about these things–" He sighed, "It's hard not having you by my side you already know that, I just don't feel at ease knowing you're here and I'm there."

"Seb, I get that but you can't be getting mad at me for this, I'm not at fault for this." A frown formed on his mouth, the last thing he needed for her to think he blamed her for any of this.

"I don't blame you at all, never once have I blamed you."

"It felt like it."

"I'm sorry I made you feel like that, I really am Nova. You know I love you."