Destiel ☾ One shots

season 15, episode 19 1/2

Dean woke up slowly to Miracle licking his face, a drastic change from his usual wakings; sweaty, screaming and reaching for the nearest bottle of beer or whiskey. For the first time in weeks, Hell, maybe even years, he slept through the night without the terrors of his past haunting him. He still dreamt, of course. Dean had never had the luxury of a peaceful and dreamless nights sleep, but at least this time it didn't make him want to scream and cry and rip his hair out. He sighs as he swings his legs off the side of the bed, petting Miracle as he stood and slipped on his slippers. He padded down the hall to the kitchen where he was met with a wide eyed Sam cooking breakfast.
- Want some? he said, gesturing to the pan of eggs and spinach.
- Sure. Dean replied, giving his brother a quick smile before turning to pour himself a cup of coffee. Sam watched expectantly, and only spoke up again once Dean had sat down with his coffee and taken a few sips.
- You alright?
- Yeah. Dean said hesitantly, wary of where the conversation was going.
- It's just- these past weeks, since y'know, everything happened, you've been... distant.
- I've been fine Sam. Just dealing with it.
- Yeah but Dean, you locked yourself away in your room, refused to eat, barely slept and the only times i saw you, you were drunk out of your mind or passed out on the floor.
- Like I said, I was dealing with it.
- Yeah but today? You walk in here acting like everything's fine and you want to eat eggs and spinach and don't complain about the lack of bacon. You answered me with actual words rather than a shrug for the first time in weeks and you expect me to just accept that you're better now and everything can go back to normal?
- Yeah Sam. I'm fine. And maybe i do still feel like absolute shit and all i want to do is crawl right back into the bottom of the bottle and hide away forever, but I know that's not what he would've wanted. So I'm trying. I'm trying to get up and move on and maybe eventually I'll find something to do with myself, but for now, this is the best I got.

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It's around 3 pm now and Dean has been browsing the internet all day in search for a potential job. He even wrote out a quick draft of a CV and a list of potential jobs. It's not much - there's not much you can do without as much as a GED education or valid proof of existence (seeing as legally both him and Sam died, multiple times). There's a knock at the door and Sam walks in, holding his laptop in one hand.
- Hey, I just found this case not too far out, I know you want to quit, and so do I, but maybe we can do one last simple case before we throw it in?
- Yeah, what is it?
- Vamp nest, pretty textbook i think, should only take a day or two.
- Great I'll get my stuff.

Queue episode 20 RIP

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Oookay hey!! it's been a while, i wrote this in the car - it was supposed to be a sort of fix it fic in which the events after 15x20 never happen but it ended up being a canon-compliant introspective into Dean's coping after 15x18 and 15x19... oops. Destiel if you read it that way - implied Destiel - if you don't want to read Destiel then i guess it's not about them it's just D.W and his feelings... Anyways it didn't necessarily end on a happy note because .... well, we all know what happens in the finale :/ ummm hope you enjoyed and thanks to everyone who still reads these after all this time :] Byeee :P