Online Real Talk

Nawala Ng Parang Bula

*pop*

Message from: -----

"Wala naman yung kwenta! Just another douchebag"

Received: 12:28 a.m

I received this message from one of my closest friends. Natawa nalang ako. Maybe because I know how much how they loathed that boy from the very beginning. And people have bugged me because of my personal connections with him. They have talked about us, hated us. I knew that pero I didn't mind. Pinabayaan ko nalang ang text message ng kaibigan ko. I couldn’t argue anymore because he’s right. That boy he loathed was a douchebag.

Back then, I was just a young girl who felt like love was the only thing that mattered. The heavens probably just had gotten insane so they taught me a lesson. I got out of my room, went to the balcony and heard my favourite song playing on the radio.

“People fall in love in mysterious ways” Ed's right. Love finds a way to get to your heart. You don’t know when it will move to teach you a lesson. I had once accidentally fell in love, deeply, almost 6 feet below the ground. And just like a person who’s six feet below the ground, I had forgotten how to live. Kahit na buhay ako, the only thing that had mattered to me the most, was the person who eventually became a total douchebag.

I remember when we went mall hopping. I really had fun walking around the city with him, his brother and his cousin. Napuntahan namin lahat ng malls dito. I could not wish for more because apparently, I thought about how my life was perfect. Pumunta pa nga kami sa bahay ng pinsan niya to pig out. We ate snacks from Jollibee. Tambay at palipas oras.

He checked the clock. "It's getting late. Uwi na tayo” He said. I frowned because of what he just said. He doesn't want to spend time with me anymore. I looked up to the ceiling, trying to calm my nerves. When did I ever became like this? I don’t know myself anymore. I sighed. He got me.

"You want to see me 24/7 then" It was obviously a statement. Tumaas ang aking mga balahibo. Tinitigan ko siya ng nakakaloko para matago yung totoong nararamdaman ko. I had never wanted that kind of feeling. Ito yung first relationship ko if ever mag commit ako, Takot akong maging totoo ang posibilidad na iiwan niya lang din ako sa ere. Should I trust my guts?

We went outside and bid goodbye to his cousin. "Bye, balik kayo dito ah. I'm going to cook for you!" Sabi ng pinsan niya. "Copy!" I replied reassuringly. Pero totoo naman na masarap ang lutong bahay nila. It’s addictive.

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"Yup. You?" I asked him, too.

"No. Because I have you" he said. Ang cheesy, teh?

“Maybe just the touch of a hand” He pulled me closer and held my hand. I felt safe and sound. Andilim sa kalye pero damn, that time, I didn’t want to end the night!

“Well-me, I fall in love with you every single day” Yes. I had fallen deeper than that of six feet so nobody was able to save me.

“I just want to tell you I am…” I was in front of my house. His hands felt like home, I didn't ever want to run away from them. He looked at me while my knees were shaking.

"What?" The man knew how to make my heart melt. Even though I felt weak down on my knees, I managed to ask him that. He looked at me and his eyes went down on my lips. Moved closer. My knees were shaking two times than before. He moved closer. He was just an inch away when he had held my head and kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight. Sweet dreams" I pouted my lips.

"Goodnight" I wished him that before going inside.

For weeks, he didn't send me good morning text messages or even bothered to call me. Di ko alam bakit, ang alam ko lang ay masakit? Hahaha! Masakit pala. Kainis naman kasi, sa dinami rami ng mga taong in love dyan, ako pa yung iniwan. Iniwan lang ako sa ere. Pinaasa sa wala. Fuck! I shouldn't have trusted my gut feeling. For how many months, pasok labas lang ako sa kwarto. Kung lalabas ako ng bahay, parang ere lang din ako.

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But things have already changed. And I'm glad because i was able to move on from the dark. Thank you for atleast sharing some of your precious time to me.

~~~

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