like never before | beomkai

20 | drinks & lost minds

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Beomgyu is different in front of other people.

Within a few minutes after they arrived, Kai's hand was left dropped at his side with Beomgyu's voice fading in the crowd—he was now alone in a party full of people he didn't know, and he found only the smallest comfort in a quiet corner of the balcony entrance. Here, nobody can see him without trying.

He snatched a few drinks from the bar, and he tried to make sense of his surroundings upon remembering that Beomgyu was with him. Well, shit. He doesn't even know if Taehyun and the others are around. Amidst the wilding lights and the dirty dancing on the dance floor, Kai finds nothing familiar.

It was a bad idea to give in to what Beomgyu wanted. He promised nothing, but Kai was hoping that the older one wouldn't leave him like this.

What a jerk.

"Library boy!" A voice called. It made Kai turn his head, almost giving him a whiplash. And there, he sees a girl that was ironically the only known face he has so far.

"Beomgyu hyung's... friend?" Kai realized that he knew nothing about this girl besides being the person Beomgyu was always with in the break room. Her name, her course, or even just who she was in Beomgyu's life.

He didn't need to probe harder for an answer when she smiled to deliver. "I'm Rin. Beomgyu and I dated a few weeks back, but we're just friends now."

Of course they were dating. Kai couldn't help but sigh in defeat.

"Aren't you supposed to be with Beomgyu? I saw you two coming here together," She asked. It seems like she's the one hungry for answers this time.

"He invited me and drove me here, but now I don't know where he is."

Rin chuckles and finds Kai's innocent tone quite adorable. "Well, good luck with him. If you won't keep him in your line of sight, he'll be gone before you know it."

"What do you mean?" Kai gulped. He wasn't so sure of what Rin was implying.

"I'm saying that Beomgyu lives like he's never lived before. He's never satisfied with what he has, and I don't think you're tough enough to handle what he's about to give you," Rin poured him a drink. "Don't fall for him too quickly, pretty boy."

"We're not... lovers."

"Tell me that tomorrow," She left with final words that overshadowed the loud music from the speakers.

Kai doesn't get it—that's what he tries to make himself believe. He knows Beomgyu, he does, but the more he thinks about it... he wonders if he knows Beomgyu at all.

Hell, he's even starting to wonder if Taehyun knows Beomgyu at all.

To them, Beomgyu was warm, he was safe. But Rin spoke of Beomgyu like poison, someone to avoid. It drew questions that Kai didn't even know exist.

How strange. Kai was also unaware of why Beomgyu deemed it important for Kai to be in the party, only to be left alone in a silent corner.

Kai drowns himself with the alcohol in his hand, it's not enough to make him drunk, but it was enough to make him feel warm. He hopes to overpower the uneasiness in his system.

He was about to get another drink, but he stopped when Beomgyu appeared to grab his hand. "Hyuka, come here! My friends want to meet you."

"Oh, okay."

Like a rag doll, Kai was dragged to a table with people he wasn't pleased to face. They were from departments he's not familiar with, and years older than him. Although he doesn't have a prejudice against people that's not his age, he didn't feel comfortable with the fact that a bunch of seniors are looking him up and down like an item on display.

"This is Huening Kai," Beomgyu was the one who did the introduction part. "Treat him kindly because he doesn't go out much."

It only took a few seconds before someone spoke to react. "Your date is lovely."

"He's a friend," Beomgyu shook his head.

Kai didn't like where this was going.

He tried to reach for Beomgyu's hand, but it was gently shaken off. One girl from the table noticed, and wore an astonished smile. "Pardon me. I thought you're together because... I mean, you did come here with one car."

Beomgyu laughs like he heard the funniest joke in the world. "Just drove the kid here. He needs someone to look out for him."

Hands formed fists on Kai's side. He starts to get extra observant about his surroundings: the strong smell of alcohol in Beomgyu's shirt, the conversation happening at the next table, the sound of the girl tapping her fingers on the glass, the breathing he was slowly losing control of—Kai needed to get out of there.

It's humiliating. He didn't expect this even if he was just a friend.

The sight of Beomgyu smiling like an idiot fumed him more than it should—No. This was not Beomgyu. This was a stranger. His friend would never leave him alone then parade him around like a trophy. His Beomgyu would never deny him a hand to hold when he's nervous.

His Beomgyu was not this. Not this... drunk person that's so indifferent.

Kai escapes with a disappointed glare that Beomgyu didn't miss. When Beomgyu chased after him, he only accelerated. This is enough for today. He doesn't want to see Beomgyu right now.

"Hey, Kai. Wait."

Beomgyu grabs Kai by the hand, and Kai pulls back in defense. They ended up in the parking lot, somewhere with lesser people and proper lights. This gave Kai an opportunity to look at Beomgyu properly.

It's so unfair for Beomgyu to look this beautiful after hurting him.

"Don't touch me," Kai's voice was stern, but Beomgyu held him tight.

"Just wait."

"No, no. I'll die if I stay longer."

"Stop being dramatic, Kai-"

"Oh, shut up. You're drunk and you're out of your mind. I don't want to talk to you right now, and maybe for the rest of my life."

Beomgyu gasped in exhaustion. "You don't mean that."

"I do. I really do. Hyung, you don't just make me feel things and chalk them up as friends looking out for each other. The moment you kissed me that night was the moment you should have known that I will never see you anything less."

"What do you mean?"

Kai finally untangled himself from Beomgyu's hold. He was breathless. Maybe the building pressure in his throat was making it hard for him to breathe. "I like you," His voice broke when he confessed. It was not the way he had pictured his confession to be.

Beomgyu didn't expect it as much as he did. The look on his face spoke for itself.

"I like you. So if you don't feel the same, stop acting like you do."

Kai didn't have the courage to stay. When the wind blew cold against his cheek and silence built a wall between them, Kai was the first to step away.