ʟᴏꜱᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

9.

"I'm doing it!" He yelled. I smiled until the bike jerked into a bush and his body nor the bike was visible to me anymore.

"Oh no." I mumbled while running up to the bush.

"Rylan? Rylan?" I called. I shoved my hands inside the greenery and waited for my fingers to feel anything, anything at all.

Until I grabbed the bike and yanked him out. His eyes were wide as I picked leaves from the holes in his helmet.

"Baby, are you okay? Rylan?" I cradled his cheeks in my hands.

"That was awesome! Let's do it again." He smiled. I chuckled and let my arms wrap around his small frame. I kissed his forehead and investigated the scrapes upon his body.

"You're bleeding?" I un-clipped his his helmet and brushed his hair back.

"I'm fine." He shrugged.

"Let's get you cleaned up." I said as we walked back to the apartment. I held him on my side with the bike in my other hand.

It's like a workout.

I unlocked the apartment and sat Rylan on the counter while placing the bike down and grabbing our first aid kit.

I placed it down and leaned under to undo his shoes, lightly tugging them off. Then removing the knee and elbow pads. Then finally his helmet.

I dabbed some disinfectant on a cotton ball and patted the many wounds upon his body.

He winced.

"I'm sorry, that's the worst of it.. I promise." I kissed his forehead and he flashed me a lazy smile.

I bandaged up his wounds and laid him in the bathroom.

After I showered him we got into bed together and I let him lay a top me.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"I'm okay mama, don't worry." He smiled down at me and I ran a hand over his head. Smiling up at his warm radiating energy.

"It's my job to worry about you." I smiled.

"Who worries about you?" He asked.

"Well.. I'm an adult I don't need anyone to worry about me." I shrugged off the tingle.

"I'll worry about you, I got you, mama." He laid his cheek on my chest and I lightly rubbed his back as his breaths began to slow.

"I love you." I whispered.

He looked so much like him, the dimples, the hair, the eyes. Those brown eyes, gosh.

After he was emerged into a deepened sleep I carefully removed myself with a pillow and tip toed into the closet. Shutting the door and sitting down on the worn carpet.

I had kept a box, a box full of memories when I moved out.

Needless to say I was a little; pardon my language, bitch for keeping all this.

I only ever looked through it to relive memories which I realized was a bad time every single time. So, you can piece the pieces together.

I reached forward and pulled the worn cardboard out of the hiding spot from under my clothes. Taking a deep inhale, my eyes ran over the label taped on.

Do not open

Apparently I can't even follow my own advice.

I pulled the top off and took out the stack of pictures held together by a rubber band.

The film was worn, splayed with black decaying dots. I carefully removed the band and stared forward at the first picture. The bottom portion had one word written in sharpie.

- Khy

He hated when people called him Khy, not me. I was the only one allowed rights to that name.

It was him sitting at the dock, ice cream in his hand with the green cream smushed all over his face as he held his hand over his face to protest the pic.

I remember that day.

I grabbed the cone and shoved it in his face.

"Ariya!"

I giggled as he began wiping his face with the hem of his white shirt.

I held the camera up and he pushed back his smile.

"Oh my gosh!" He placed his hand over his face to shield himself from the lens.

"You look stunning." I laughed while I waited for the film to develop.

I sighed and moved that one to the back. This one read.

Khy and I baking :)

I had the camera set on the counter as he held a hot pan while I tried to pose behind him.

His face was panicked with the heat of the pan as I laughed.

I chuckled out loud before placing a hand over my mouth to silence the sob that I knew was bound to release.

Eight years, eight years of a pure loving friendship and he couldn't even remember.

It hurt.

This is what I wanted, then why did It hurt so much? I wanted it so badly now it hurts. Why?

I flipped another picture and stared down.

There was no caption, no writing. Just us with our grad caps. I smiled as we stared at eachother, my arm extending out to take the picture.

That same night I left.

I wiped the underside of my nose and sniffed back my tears. My body slightly shaking.

Enough.

I placed the rubber band back around the stack and dropped them in the box, placing the lid on and sliding it back under the clothes, making it divisible to the bare eye.

Pressing my back on the wall while bringing my knees to my chest. I clutched my necklace in my hand and felt the metal against my hot skin.

"See, now even when I'm gone I'm still here." He handed me the necklace and I chuckled.

"We see each other everyday, Khyson." I laughed.

"Still, I couldn't get you nothing on your birthday." He smiled.

"Thank you, Khyson."

Thank you, Khyson.