The Jabberjay's song (A Hunger Games story)

Chapter 36 (Akio)

" Uh, L-ladies and gentlemen may I present to you this year's victor of the sixty-first annual hunger games. Akio Thorn!" 

Is that Claudius Templesmith? what's going on?

I am dead. This is a dream. This isn't real. I died. 

Dead.

Gone.

Deceased. 

Everything hurts. My body is like a deadweight. Am I alive? No. I'm dead, I must be. 

Unless I'm not.

_

I wake up in a hospital bed, surrounded by various different machines and medical equipment in a foreign room. My mind is empty, devoid of thought and emotion, because I am still trying to piece together what's going on. I look down at myself, lifting the hospital gown that I am wearing to uncover a nasty stitched scar on my abdomen. Everything is disjointed, I can't remember how I got here, or what's going on now. I frantically search my brain. I was in the arena, I was fighting Astra. Then I got badly hurt. Everything after that is blurry. My memories are like a corrupted tape recorder that won't play back. 

Suddenly the door in front of me opens, and my thoughts are interrupted. In walks two faces I never thought I'd have the displeasure to see again. Then again, it is nice to see some familiar people. Effie Trinket's fluorescently painted face beams down at me, followed by the less enthusiastic Haymitch Abernathy. There is something different in his expression, that I believe is pride mixed with pity. I push the thought aside and focus on what they're trying to say.

"Welcome back to the real world." Says Haymitch with a slightly disgruntled smile. Effie seems overjoyed by my presence, but I ignore her and listen to my mentor. "Look." he says, quieter now. "I know this is difficult, but can you remember what happened when you where last in the arena?" I shake my head in response. Nothing is clear to me right now. Everything is surreal, and I am patiently waiting for answers. Answers that I know Haymitch Abernathy is about to give. 

"When you were last in the arena." He begins, "You and Kat were fighting the tributes from district two. You got into a scrap with Astra, the girl. And Kat managed to climb a tree to get away from that girl's partner, Eros." I nod, following everything he's saying so far and matching the events that are in my head. "Right, so then..." Haymitch continues. "Well, Kat managed to push Eros from the tree. He fell and died on impact after hitting the ground. That's when Astra, your opponent managed to stab you." This is where my memories are cut off. But there is something nagging me in the back of my mind. Something I dread that I am about to uncover. 

"Kat took their own life to save yours." 

The words are so blunt. So harsh, that when I hear them it's like my brain rejects them entirely. No. That's not true. Haymitch is lying. I'm going to leave this room and Kat will be standing there, and then we'll laugh together because everyone thought they died when they didn't. Because they can't have. Because they promised I wouldn't lose them. 

"I'm sorry Akio. I really am, I know they were your friend." says Haymitch placing a hand on my shoulder. "But without Kat, you wouldn't be here. They forced the gamemaker's hand into saving your life and crowning you the victor. You won the games. You did it." My whole body goes numb. Rigid with several emotions at once, and instead of registering them I lean over the side of the best and throw up onto the tiled floor. Then, suddenly I'm screaming. I'm screaming Kat's name, begging for them to come back, and  retching up the empty contents of my stomach. My throat burns but I don't stop. Haymitch is saying something, and it doesn't matter. None of it matters without my best friend.

"YOU'RE A LIAR. GET AWAY FROM ME YOU LIAR. THEY AREN'T DEAD. HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!?" I yell, crawling from under the sheets and throwing myself at Haymitch. It hurts like hell. Everything does, but I don't stop, until I am being restrained by a couple of peacekeepers and strapped back onto the hospital bed. I flinch as a needle is pushed into my skin. However the feeling is soon replaced by a cold sensation spreading through my veins. I try to get away once I realise I'm being sedated, but everything loses its focus and after a few seconds I am pulled under.

_

They promised me. Kat promised that I wouldn't lose them, and now they're on their way to be buried in the cemetery for fallen tributes back in district twelve. My whole body feel heavy with nothing but the pain and guilt of my best friends death. They did this for me. Why couldn't I just die. I don't deserve to win the hunger games anyway. Kat worked so hard for the victory but gave it up because they were too weak to watch me die. Why couldn't they be stronger? Deep down, I know it's not that. I know they chose to save me, because they were my friend and they loved me, and I loved them too. Even so, I can't help feeling responsible. It's my fault they're not here, now. It should be them, in my place on this bed, in this room. And it's not and there's nothing I can do about it. Escape. I want to escape this reality. It's like nothing is real anymore, yet it is, and the most painful thing is the knowledge that I am trapped here forever, and Kat is somewhere else. I have to live with this burden now. 

I wake up, and every time I do, I scream and scream until my lungs give out, or until I am sent back to sleep by sedation. Time passes. But it's blurry. Meaningless. Out in the real world, in the districts they will be celebrating my victory. Caesar Flickerman will be interviewing my prep team and soon I will be back in district twelve where I will be more or less forgotten by the people of panem. 

I thought I was a dead man as soon my name was read out by Effie Trinket, and I thought I was a dead man after stepping foot in that wretched arena. But, thanks to Kat Gray.

I guess I was wrong.