Battered, With Love

Chapter 13 -- When Hell Breaks Loose

Long time, no upload. My apologies. But this is the first upload of 2013 and it's chapter 13! That accounts for something, right?

"We think we're living, but we're only existing. Living is when you are cognizant of who and what you are. In this world where people crave acceptance and sell their individuality for conformity, we're only existing. We're not living. And it sure as hell isn't the same thing." -- Ash, while musing in English class and thinking about existentialism and Albert Camus' The Stranger

            “I haven’t seen you around here before.” A quiet voice cuts my thoughts.   

            I glance up, only to see a pair of deep blue eyes stare at me. His eyes hold mine as he awaits my response.

            “Ben?” I can’t mask the surprise on my face. “Ben!” I say again, this time with more certainty, as he smiles, deepening the dimples in his cheeks.

            He moves to hug me and I freeze immediately. This makes him back up. “Oh, yeah! The no-hugging thing. Because you’re Muslim and all that.”

            I nod. “Yeah. Thanks for remembering. Sit down! I haven’t seen you in two years.” That’s the best part about waking up every morning. The events of the day are like presents; you never know what you’ll find as you go throughout the day; whether it’s good, whether it’s bad. And maybe that’s the scariest and the most beautiful thing about living: that surprise.

            Ben takes a seat next to me. “So. Answer my question. I haven’t seen you around here before, and I live across the river.” I look out past the water of the river, at the houses lining the other side. Wait, scratch that. They’re not houses. They’re mansions. I forgot Ben’s family belonged to high society.

            “I come here when I can. It’s one of my favorite places to think.” I respond. We gently start swinging on the benches. “It’s like a getaway spot because I don’t see anyone from school here.” I stare out into the water, waiting for him to respond. His silence makes me realize what I’ve just said. “No! Ben, I didn’t mean it like that, I swear! I don’t mean you. You, I like. Just…other people that I seriously can’t stand.”

            He just laughs good-naturedly. “I know you didn’t mean me. I’m just so damn irresistible. Girls are clawing at each other to be chilling with me, right?”

            I glance at him, at his blue eyes that are filled with humor. “Yup, you know it, Bentley.”

            “Oh shut up, Eiliyah.”

            This just makes me smile wider. “So, how’s private school? You’re greatly missed, you know.”

            He rubs his eyes and sighs. ‘In all honesty, I hate it. Too uptight, too conformist for my taste.” When we were sophomores, Ben got shipped to some New England private school that his father went to.

            “But isn’t that where—”

            “Yeah, yeah. The whole damn family went there. I was actually lucky enough to be able to go to public school for a year and a half. I wish I could have finished out the year before my parents sent me off but…it is what it is, you know?”

            Unfortunately, I do know. “So.” I look around, at the vendors selling hot dogs and ice cream, at the rippling water, at the birds flying, settling, flying again. Motion. Yet time stands still for us, because there’s a hiccup in our history, like a scratch on a record. We went from one point to another so quickly that we’re trying to fill in the gaps. “Why are you back now? It’s the middle of the school year.”