My Brother's Best Friend

Chapter 6

I shrug. "I'll probably just crash at your place."

Without another word, he pulls out onto the road, his fingers gripping the wheel tighter than I've ever seen them.

***

Ethan passed out around one when we got back, but something about Maddie being out still made me stay awake.

I couldn't sleep knowing she might get in trouble. I know Maya is with her, but still. My mind wouldn't stop racing. I kept thinking about where she was, who she was with...

Was she still drunk?

Finally, around three, the front door quietly opens and just Maddie walks in, her heels from earlier dangling from her fingertips.

Ethan was in his room, and whenever I stay over I always sleep in the living room, so she's not surprised when she sees me. "Didn't think you'd be up," she mumbles tiredly, yawning as she walks into the kitchen.

I get up and follow her, watching as she takes a water bottle out and places it on the counter. Her makeup is smeared from earlier, but somehow she still looks hot.

"How was it?" I ask, attempting not to seem too eager.

She shrugs and leans forward to rest her elbows on the countertop, pushing her tits directly toward me without realizing it. My god.

"It was...okay, I guess. Mark was gross, but it was fine."

"Did he try something?" I hiss.

She furrows her eyebrows together in confusion before she gets a little smile on her face. "What if he did?" She asks.

It's so quiet in the kitchen right now, with just a single light shining over the oven. The same feeling from earlier courses between us, and I have to force myself to take a step back, placing my hands on a barstool. I have to literally force a barrier between us.

"It wouldn't matter," I say, and I don't know if I'm lying or not. "Ethan was pissed, so I'm sure he'll want to know."

She nods. "Okay. Well, I'll let him know in the morning."

Leaving me speechless, she takes the water bottle and heads for the stairs until I grasp onto her wrist to stop her. She looks down at my hand, then back to me before she gulps.

Hard.

"It was nice to see daredevil Maddie come back," I tell her, and she doesn't know what to say. "I miss that girl. The one from that trip in Myrtle Beach."

"You remember that?" She seems surprised.

It'd be impossible to forget.

"Well, yeah, it wasn't that long ago." I laugh until I realize her face has grown serious, almost sad.

"It seems like it," she breathes out, and it must be because there's liquor still in her system because her gaze meets mine again, a sudden surge of confidence washing over her. "I miss that nerdy boy who collected Pokémon cards. The boy before high school."

The thought makes me smile softly. The version of me before my mom passed. The version of me before my dad became so angry at life. Angry with me.

"I miss him too," I find myself saying, and I realize that my hand is still holding onto her wrist. I make no effort to move it though.

"I think he's still in there," she says, seeming to realize how sad I've become.

"Yeah?" I ask, and instinctively my thumb brushes against her wrist. "And what makes you so sure of that?"

"Because I'm talking to him right now." She laughs softly and looks at my thumb, which is currently still rubbing circles around her wrist. "I miss talking to you. I'm not sure what happened, or what changed..."

"I changed," I reassure her. "It had nothing to do with you. You know about my mom, and how my dad has just been..."

"A dick," she finishes.

"Exactly. I just pushed everyone away after everything happened, and you unfortunately were included in that. I'm so sorry, Mads. You didn't deserve that. You've honestly been one of the only people who has always seen the best in me during both versions of myself."

It's so easy to talk to Maddie about my feelings. I had so much resentment towards her after that night on the beach all because I realized I might actually have feelings for her. As I stare at her, that's when I realize it. That is why I pulled away, and so that wasn't her fault. She did nothing wrong to ruin the friendship we had. It was me.

I got scared.

"Does this mean you're not going to call me a bore anymore?" she teases. "We're actually going to be friends again?"

"I make no promises about the bore comment,"  I joke. "However, the friend's thing I can agree on."

"Okay." She grins, and I love the way that smile looks on her. It makes me want to put it there every day.

We stand in silence for a few more seconds, and the tension between us overwhelms me. I take my hand away and scratch the back of my head. "We should probably get some sleep," I end up saying, even though the only thing I want to do is stand here with her and talk all night just like we used to.

"Yeah, we probably should," she agrees, but when she turns away from me I ask her the same question I did earlier. I need to know if I'll get any sleep tonight.

"Did he try something?" I ask.

A slow smile spreads across her face again, and at this point, I know she can tell I'm flirting with her, and It's like I suddenly understand what Ethan was talking about yesterday with Maya.

I can't start something with Maddie, no matter how much I may want to. I'm not built for a relationship. I never have been. I'm a wreck of a human being, and getting involved with Maddie will just drag her down with me. I don't want to hurt her. Plus, If I did start something with her, I'm not so sure I'd be able to stop it. She's dangerous for me, and she seems clueless as to just how much she gets to me.

"He did," she admits, my entire body going still, "but I stopped him."

I want to ask her why, but I think I know the answer. She's looking at me in a way I've never seen her look at me before until tonight. The same look she had on her face at the party. The same look that could make me come inside of her over and over again.

"Good," is all I say, leaving the kitchen before I do something I'll regret.