The Queen of Darkness

Chapter Four

I'd been sitting by the stream for a while, comprehending how everything got so messed up so quickly. Out of all the time I have left on this Earth, my body chooses now that it wants to have a child. I wasn't even aware that it was possible seeing that Darian was five centuries old and all.

I am at a complete loss for words. I cannot fathom how this has happened or how I am going to deal with it. Or worse, how Darian is going to deal with it. Besides, even if he did want children now is not the time. Not with murderers running loose who are hell-bent on my death.

They've already succeeded twice.

I rest my chin on my knees and listen to the stream as it flows. The gentle gushing of the water and the fish that rise out of the water every once in a while. The rustling of the trees in the calm breeze only adds to the peacefulness of the night.

My body eventually grows numb from the cold and I'm not sure whether I am grateful or not. Grateful that I have a reason to feel so numb. I should be happy, ecstatic even, but I can only feel pure dread.

All I can think is that I am not ready and I'm not sure if I'll ever be. I'd never considered the notion of having children, I've barely grown myself.

What family will they have besides Darian and me? My entire family was murdered and let's not even get started on Darian's family. This poor child is now tethered to hell itself. Another life that I have ruined and it hasn't even begun yet.

Clamping my hands over my face, I try to hold back every emotion begging to float to the surface. I'd never been one to be so emotional but now... now I am an emotional wreck. I am like a bloody dam waiting to burst.

Where are you?, Darian's voice sounds and I ignore it. I cannot, for the life of me, talk to him right now or ever for that matter. A few minutes go by until he speaks again. Please, tell me where you are, Nova.

All I can do is put up the walls in my mind and hug my legs to my chest. I close my eyes and let the sounds around me drown everything out. Now would be a good time to read a book. But, I haven't been able to pick up a book for a long time. I haven't been able to focus on the words of the paper. The words that I used to connect so much to.

It's just not the same anymore.

Well, let's face it. Nothing is the same anymore. So much has changed in such little time. So many people I love have died or are just gone. Like Easton. What I would give to know how he is doing right now. How he is finding life. If he has met someone new. But, the likelihood of me ever being able to ask those questions is close to none.

I wipe away the tears that had escaped and that's when I notice a presence next to me. Darian sits beside me on the bank and my heart almost explodes. "You scared me," I say, holding my hand against my heart.

"Mila left somewhat abruptly and when I asked around Killian told me that you were rather distressed. What did she say to you?" his voice is soft as he turns his face towards me, expectant.

"I'm not dying... I'm fine," I nod and stare at the stream, unable to lie to his face. How do I even bring it up, how would one say such a thing? If it were planned I am more than sure this would be easy to say but seeing our situation, I don't think I've ever struggled to say something so much.

"Why do I find that hard to believe?" Darian questions and I know that I am walking on a very thin line right now. "I watch you sleep for hours on end, I watch you look as though you are on the verge of death and... you're fine? I highly doubt it."

"A stomach bug? I don't know," I sigh, feeling more tired by the minute. I know that I am mixing my stories but I can't find the energy to care.

"If you are to lie to me, Nova, at least make it believable," Darian says and abruptly stands. "What are you not telling me?" he demands and I scoff. I am so tired, I do not have the time for him throwing demands at me.