Motherhood - Billie Eilish

chapter 40

I sunk down a little in my bath, letting my chin go below the water. My hair was up in a bun so it didn't get wet. I only cleaned it yesterday.

Madeline was sitting in the bathroom with me. I cant just leave her on her own. Its too dangerous for a baby. She got her toy and threw it in the water with force, making the water splash everywhere. "Maddy!" I gasped. She squealed and laughed as she ran away and hid behind a cabinet.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes, restraining myself from laughing.

———

"Mommy." Madeline patted my shoulder as i did my makeup. "You want some?" I asked. She nodded and clapped her hands. Its so cute how she does that any time she wants something. "Okay, close your eyes." I told her. She didn't understand so she just kept them open as I put a little bit of glittery eyeshadow on her eyelids.

"Beautiful." I smiled at her. She spent her time looking at herself in the mirror while I finished my makeup and put it away. I took pictures of us and posted them to Instagram. Madeline looked so cute I literally couldn't handle it.

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FINNEAS: happy birthday🤎
Claudiasulewski: happy bday beautiful😍
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Chelseabxtch: my girls😍🥰

———

"We missed you girl. It feels like we haven't seen eachother im years." Alysha laughed as we sat in my balcony. "I knowww! I missed you guys too." I said as madeline played with alyshas daughter.

"So how are you and that billiana chick?" Chelsea asked as she grabbed an apple cider from the cooler. It was absolutely freezing out here, we didn't even need the cooler. But we all had coats on. "Her names billie," I laughed. "And we actually broke up just a while ago." I said as I looked down as my hands. "Oh babe, im sorry. She was cute and everything." Chelsea frowned rubbing my knee. "Its okay. Don't worry about it." I shook it off, forcing a laugh.

I secretly just wished she could have been here tonight though.

The rest of the night went relatively smoothly though. I had fun. I danced and sung and drank a lil bit. Still underage and shit.

It was around 10 p.m. and I heard a knock on the door. The loud music filled my ears as I walked to the door to open it.

"Billie?" I shouted over the music. She stood at the door biting the inside of her cheek. "Hi." She shouted. She started saying something but I couldn't understand her because of how loud it was. "Wait, come in for a sec." I told her. She awkwardly walked in and followed me to my room. It was a lot in there.

"Whats up?" I asked a little nervous as I closed the door. "Well, um, happy birthday." She said. "Thanks." I gave a small smile. "I have these for you." She mumbled as we both sat down on my bed. She handed me a cd and card. "Thank you." I smiled genuinely and I opened the card. She nodded and fumbled with her hands as I read it.

Hi torie

Writing this card is really hard because there's so much love I still have for you. But I know its not really appropriate to say all that lovey dovey stuff now. Firstly happy birthday. In the time that I've known you, you've opened up so many doors in my life. You've brought me genuine happiness i haven't felt in so long. All you've ever done was love me. I guess it was more my fault that we ended things but maybe it was meant to be. I miss you though. I cant believe you're 20. I hope this year treats you well. Even though we aren't together there wasn't a chance I wasn't gonna get you anything for your birthday. And I didn't know what to buy you so I just didn't buy anything. Instead I made you a lil song. Solely dedicated to you. I don't want it published or anything. It wasn't hard to write since my feelings for you are so visible but recording it was hard. I kept crying and shit LMFAO. I love you though. Enjoy the song.

I exhaled and placed the letter down beside me. Billie looked at me with anxiety filled eyes.

It was silent.

Not a word spoken from either of us.

"Wow.." I mumbled. "Do you like it?" She asked as she bit her nails. "Of course i do. I like anything that comes from you." I admitted. "Oh okay good. Well there's the cd and stuff. The song is called Come Out And Play." She said. "I'll make sure to listen to it. Thank you." I smiled sadly. "Yeah of course." She nodded.

We sat in uncomfortable silence until billie remembered something. "Wait I have something else for you." She said suddenly. "Come with me." She stood up. "Oh, okay." I mumbled as we left the room. "Close your eyes while we go get it." She said gently.

"Why?"

"Just do it torie. Please?" She begged. I exhaled and closed my eyes. I felt her soft hand hold mine. Her little fingers interlocking with mine. "Just so you don't bump into anything." She said. "Yeah." I nodded and chewed on my bottom lip.

A soft breeze hit my face as we went outside. "Why are we outside, Billie?" I asked confused. "Just keep your eyes closed." She chuckled. We walked a little before stopping.

"Okay, open your eyes." She said.

I opened them and looked around before looking ahead of me. It was a brand new white ferrari. "Jesus christ, billie. You didn't." I said as felt my heart beat faster and faster. "I did." She laughed. Our hands stayed interlocked as I dragged her around to look at the car.

"Billie why would you do this for me?" I asked, sad she spent all this money on me. "Because I love you." She smiled. My cheeks felt hot as I let go of her hand. "I love you too." I said and wrapped my arms around her neck. She wrapped hers around my back and rubbed it softly.

I pulled back and looked into her greenish blue eyes. It was so quiet. Not a sound heard in the parking lot we stood in. She tucked my braids behind my ear and cupped my cheek. She glanced down to my lips and I licked them unintentionally. "Fuck it." She mumbled. "Wha-" She grabbed my other cheek and brought our lips together.

I let it happen.

I craved her soft, plump lips. The way her tongue swirled in my mouth sent my heart racing. The way she rubbed my cheeks softly had me head over heels all over again.

She pulled back out of breath, tucking hair behind both of my ears as her eyes traced my face.

I know I said I didn't want any stupid little tears falling today but these ones weren't stupid.

"Happy birthday, angel."

THE END