"My heart's an artifice, a decoy soul
Who knew the emptiness could be so cold?
I've lost the parts of me that make me whole
I am the darkness
I'm a monster
You're the pulse in my veins
You're the war that I wage
Can you change me?"
~~'Monster' by Starset
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~~Jay~~
You don't know me and I don't know you, and if you want me to be honest, I don't really care who you are. I'm a man of few ties and have no desire or inclination to create more. The few that I have, I value above my own life, but even I am only human. Although, I'll admit to being of the abnormal kind. Why? Because I enjoy the blood my path has been drenched with.
No, I'm not a psychopath or a sociopath, so get that out of your head. I'm a sadistic bastard, but I do have emotions. I feel things... want things... like any other twenty-nine year old man. My little sister and the family I made for myself are the links that I cling to in order to hold onto my sanity. They keep me grounded, give me roots to come back to whenever the darkness pulls me too far away. But even they are kept just within arms reach. It's safer that way, for me and for them.
However, I'm human, a man that makes mistakes and I want what I want. I'll admit to that any day. But three years ago, I made the mistake of letting someone get under my skin. He was defiant and reckless, pissing me off to no end... until he didn't anymore. I couldn't take it, unable to accept the willingness, the openness of someone like him. He had gotten inside my head and I couldn't take it... and that's when I really started to fuck up.
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A/N: Thoughts?
Updates will be irregular for the moment.
Thanks for reading!
~SM~
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