ADHD Dribblings: Poems & Thoughts From A Mind Lost In Motion

Just Out of Reach

They keep reaching!

Grab my waist,
Hold tight on my core.
Little do they know,
I don't want it anymore.

Tonight it's this one,
Tomorrow it's that.
I can't fend them off,
And I can't keep track.

Each night, one holds the card,
And the others back off.
And the less they know me,
The more they take hold.

Moths to a flame,
They're all one in the same.
But even You reached out,
In want of singed wings.

I gave in, as I do,
As I did to them.
With fear for your pain
And what mine brings many men.

And their friends will entice him,
"If you're there, he'll show.
You're the one that can lure him."
Silly girl, don't you know?
They'll all, if I glow.

And I want them all gone.
I want my own peace.
I want my bartenders
Telling them to flea.

They know when I come,
Tears stained on my face.
Leave her to her pool.
Leave her in her lace.

But men, they keep coming,
And I no longer deny them.
On my hips, on my waist,
Wrapped 'round me like garland.

Entwined and constricted,
With my body tightly bound.
I feel now the taking,
And its poisonous sound.

I just wanted friends,
Like you said you'd be.
Then you, too,
Came back for my fee.

And I can't figure out
Who wants me for me,
Or who wants me for glee,
Or who wants me to just be
Theirs
Only
Trapped
Polished
Rubbed raw by their hands.

And I can't hide behind those
Who want me as I am.
They aren't always there.
They're not close at hand.

It's funny,
These hands,
How we loath
How I stand.

Alone
On my own
Not a one, but a one
That I want to hold.

It's hard,
So are they.
Pull me close.
Make me stay.

Verdicts
Unannounced
But we know the answer anyway.

I look to the night.
Sky is empty.
No replies.
Even new moons don't have stars in their eyes.

Can I just leave?
Can I go?
I ask again.
It's always, "No."

They want what You didn't,
Because deep down You knew
That Your hands couldn't hold,
If Yourself You weren't true.
But still You reached out,
Perhaps much too soon.

But I'd rather your reach,
Your ask and my give,
Than those of these lost souls
Pulling mine out my skin.

So reach again,
If you feel so inclined.
So I can have space,
And room to decline.

Everyone else.

I belong to them all,
But for a moment I didn't.
And though went unspoken,
I never felt safer,
Never more
Vibrant, loved, and calm,
Than when I knew deeply down,
I wasn't theirs at all.

But here I am-
Theirs,
And ours,
And yours,
Drifting along
Without any recourse.

I chose ever so wisely,
And so wisely, You chose
To steer clear of this recourse
And sit in your repose.

Just as soon as you left,
Snapped back all their heads.
A hunt that was lost,
Hunting hands did begin.

So if you reach out,
Let me in once again,
I'll feel safe in your arms,
With our hearts in our hands.

For yours didn't grab,
Didn't cling,
Didn't sting.
And for once my heart felt
A little less out of reach.

12/4/21