Directionless(Harry Styles)

Chapter 14

I felt the duvet getting slightly heavier after two minutes. I poked my head out again to see Harry spreading out another duvet on the first one. He then got back under the covers.

'Is that your lame way of being a gentleman?' I said as I smiled at him.

'It is.' He chuckled as he shuffled some pillows before laying back on them.

'Can I confess something?' I said.

'you still love Jake?' He guessed. I wanted to punch him. Of all the things he thought of this. 

'Shut up. And No. I wanted to say that I lied when I told you that I was Louis' therapist.' I said. I actually felt the weight lifting up from my shoulders. After all my job is, to be honest and be patient. I waited for his reaction.

'Oh that. Yeah I know.' He said casually. I mean I've been feeling guilty all this while for nothing.

'You know!' It came out more like a gasp rather than a statement. My pulse went crazy by the thought of him knowing all this time, and not even hinting that he knew. 

'I know!' He said in the same shocked voice like mine. He gave the most devilish smirk that was possible. 

'So you know that we grew up together and that we-' 

'You what?' This time he was the one who looked shaken up.

'You said you knew!' Okay so I was whining now. Couldn't help it.

'I know that he has never been to a therapist. That's it.' He said. 

'Ohh Okay. How do you know that?' 

'Well, I asked Liam.' He said as he adjusted the duvet above him.

'You're not talking to him. Aren't you?' I  said as I shifted my body weight on my elbow to have a clear view of his face. He glanced back at me. 

'You're wrong.' He said as he narrowed his eyes on me.

'Am I?' I asked. I trusted my instincts. 

'Partly. He isn't talking to me. There's a difference.' He said.

'And why is that?' I said. I saw his expression change. It was evident he wasn't going to say. 'Okay. Won't ask.' I leaned back on the bed.

'It's funny how you expect me to open up but I don't know anything about you.' His voice hinted annoyance mixed with hurt.

'Okay, you know what shoot.' I sighed. Let's just get this over with. I sat up straight so that I can see him. He looked up to me to see if I was serious. 

'You tell me. you know better what you're not telling me. I just know bits.' He said as he took one of the extra cushions and hugged it. This was harder I guess. Don't know where to start. Don't know what is important. I unlocked my phone and started using it.

'Are you ignoring me?' He said after few minutes passed by, and I continued to scroll.

'Shut up.' I said as I tried to go through my gallery, though I was doubtful I'd have much older pics in them. And then I remembered. I logged in to my Instagram and went inside the archived posts section.

'Have you ever seen this girl before?' I laid back and held the phone between us so that we can both see the picture. There was a blonde girl with a bob haircut posing towards the camera as she rested her back on a tree. She was smiling from ear to ear as she looked into the camera. She was in her teens which was clear from her dressing sense. 

'She's pretty.' He said absentmindedly. I rolled my eyes but obviously, he couldn't see that.

'I did not ask you to rate her. I asked if you've ever seen her before?' I said between gritted teeth.

'It's too dark. I wouldn't be able to recognize myself in this level of shadowiness.' He said innocently. Ugh! I searched for another one. I found a better one but boy I needed balls(pun intended) to show him this pic. I just turned my screen so that he can peek. It was of two teenagers standing on the playground wearing what looked like a football jersey. The boy had his arm wrapped around the girl's shoulders as she grinned towards the camera while the boy looked at her as he smiled. She was the same girl from the earlier picture, both of them were covered in sweat and mud.

'Is that Lou? Yeah it is, isn't it? And he is with-' He said taking the phone from my hand so that he can have a good look. 'Oh yeah, that's his high school love. The director's daughter, he was so fucking smitten by her. Wow, I don't remember her name, it was something Winston, uhh what was it-'

'Arya Winston.' I spoke. It came out as a whisper.

'Yeah, Arya Winston. God, he used to talk about her a lot. How do you kno-' He froze. Literally froze. He pushed his weight on his elbow so that he can get a better view. He looked at me and then back at the phone and then back again at me.

'Uhh.. You're-' 

'Yeah.' I said. I did not want him to finish whatever he wanted to say.

'Ohh No.' He said slumping back into the bed. He covered his eyes with his hand as he clutched the phone with the other. 'you're really The Winston?' 

'Ugh. I know I don't match the Winston standards but fuck Yes.' I said rolling my eyes. 

'You. You don't match the standards. You used to do the modeling right?' 

'Used to. Past tense.' I pulled up the duvet.

'Why now? Why didn't you tell me earlier?' I could hear him huff beside me.

'Because it doesn't matter.' I squeaked.

'How the hell does it not matter Arya? That's like huge.. fucking massive.' 

'That's exactly why it doesn't matter. It doesn't define me. I don't give two fucks about it. In case you haven't noticed I've got nothing to do with it. I made my own path and I'm walking on it on my own.' I sighed.

'Sorry.' He said after a while.

'Why?'

'I uhh. I guess I pulled the wrong strings.' I gave out a soft chuckle. He turned towards me. 'Thanks though, for telling me.'

'Had to.' I said turning so now we were facing each other. 'I've never told anyone about it. I mean patients.'

'So you basically told me because we kissed.' He raised his right eyebrow. I couldn't help but laugh at his silliness.

'No! I mean it was one of the reasons. You're not like the rest of the patients.' His features relaxed. 'We can't really meet patients outside the clinic. Code of honor shit and something like that. But coincidentally, we've met outside more than needed and then you've met my exes plural! and then I slid my tongue down your throat. So I guess we're way past that.' 

'Atleast now I know why you look familiar.' He said pumping a fist in the air. 'Except you're not blonde anymore. dyed?'

'Nope. I'm a natural brunette. I used to dye it blonde then because of my mum.' I ran my fingers through my hair untangling it.

'Your mum as in Amber Winston. The supermodel right? No wonder you were into modelling.' He said. 'Is that why you stopped doing it? Because you didn't wanted to be blonde anymore?' I rolled up laughing. 

'Yeah. Something like that.' I said as I caught my breath. 'Hey. I know that stupid pact of yours. If one dates, others can't even think about it. So I'm sorry I kissed you. I just needed to get out of there. I promise I won't pull out a stunt like that, ever.'

'Pull out a stunt. I was coming towards you but he came first.' Harry said. 'Saw you uncomfortable when he put a hand on you so I butted in. It wasn't coincidental. Stop acting like you pounced on me, love. I was just a tad bit surprised and that's it. Stop feeling sorry.' 

'Thank you.' was all I could say. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze before letting it go. I couldn't meet his eyes. I was just glad he did what he did. 'Let's just go to sleep yeah?' I said as I turned to face the sky again. 

'Yeah.'