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Letter To You - Mason Mount

Synopsis: in which you write a letter to your ex-boyfriend expressing your feelings.

Dear Mason,

It has been six months since we broke up, and you may be wondering why I'm sending you this letter. The reason I'm sending you this letter is that when we broke up, it was based on you and how you felt about us. You no longer wanted to be together due to you wanting to focus on football- which is understandable and i can't fault you for that. However, you also said you wanted to end our relationship due to you wanting to be single. I listened to how you felt, but I never once told you  during that conversation how I felt.

When we first got together, it was the happiest time of my life; i hadn't been so happy before. You always knew how to make me feel special and wanted, you always showed love and affection towards me and no matter what, I always knew I could rely on you. You were the one person who could no matter what, always put a smile on my face. You were one of the goofiest, kind-hearted and genuine people I had ever met; at some point, it felt like you was my guardian angel. I say that because no matter where we was or what we were doing, I always felt safe around you and I knew that you'd always protect me wherever we was or whatever the situation was.

There was never a point in our relationship where I felt unhappy with you; you always made me feel like the happiest girl in the world. Every day was like an adventure with you, we'd do something different every day but the day would always end the same; a big smile on my face and me thanking god for blessing me with someone like you. Sometimes, I thought how lucky I was to have you, it didn't feel real at times that you were mine. You always did the unexpected; from renting out a whole cinema just for us to the simplest things like bringing me flowers and some of my favourite snacks if I'd have a bad day; you were really the perfect man for me.

So when you told me you wanted to end our relationship, it really hurt me. I couldn't believe you wanted to throw away all the memories we created, all the love we shared together. At one point, I understood because football is your priority and it has been since we were 15. But at another point, I didn't understand at all. I see other footballers with girlfriends / wives and see how they make their partners their priorities as well; i just thought you would of done the same but I guess you didn't love me as much as the other footballers love their partners.

I can't fault you though Mason, the only thing you ever did wrong in our relationship- was ending it the way you did. Your choice of words really hurt me. When you said to me "You've become like a chore for me" it really hurt, it made me think "did he just keep the relationship going just because he felt like he had to?" it kind of made sense when you said that, because it made me think of all the cracks that started to appear in our relationship; when you stopped being affectionate with me, when you stopped taking me out, when you barely spoke to words to me before you left the house and after you came back, it all started to make sense that you weren't happy with our relationship anymore. Seeing you come home exhausted every day, and I wasn't able to do anything because you'd push me away; it hurt a lot because all I wanted to do was take care of you.

I've been seeing how well you've been doing Mase, I saw you scored your first hat-trick and I couldn't be more proud of you. I've been watching the games in at the grounds, but I leave straight after the match; i can't bare to see you because it still hurts but it's so great seeing you working so hard and pushing yourself. You hard work is truly paying off, it's so incredible. Your appearance has changed too, you've now got a moustache and beard; you look even more handsome then I remember. I can't believe how much you've changed, i remember you saying you'd never get a moustache or beard because you said you'd look old but, you don't at all Mase.

I heard your in a new relationship too, Declan accidentally blurted it out when he came over with Lauren. I heard she makes you very happy and I'm so glad she does Mase, it makes me happy knowing that. Declan said he didn't want to upset me, but I'm not. I'm no where near upset Mase, I'm glad you've found someone who brings out the best in you and pushes you to do your best, and loves you like how you're supposed to be loved. I couldn't be more happy for you, no one deserves it more than you. I hope your new relationship brings you nothing but happiness, blessings, positivity and love that you both deserve.

I hope your family is doing well; I heard Summer has finally said her first words. I can't believe how fast she's growing up, it was like yesterday she was just born. It's crazy how fast time goes! I heard she's took a liking to your new girlfriend too, I'm so glad. I remember you saying there's nothing like your niece getting along with someone you love, and how it makes your heart melt. I'm glad she's got a great relationship with Summer for your sake, because I know that's everything to you.

It took me a while to accept that we was over because I really thought you was the one. I haven't met no one like you before, it was a real blessing you came into my life. It hurts your not in my life anymore, but I'm glad for you and how well you're doing. It makes me very happy knowing your content and your living the dream.

I didn't write this letter so you'd feel sorry for me, i just wanted to be able to finally express my feelings for one last time. I don't want you to write to me after you receive this letter, i don't think i could bare to read your reply; I think it would hurt me once again. I'm so so so thankful to have had someone like you  in my life, there's no one else I would of rather had. Every day was worth living when being with you, it felt magical and it felt different.

At the beginning of our breakup, i was in the worst possible way I've been in in a very long time. But I'm okay now Mase, I really am. I was so angry for a while, but now I've come to terms with it and I know it was for the best thing for us. Our relationship could of gotten so toxic and so unhealthy, that it could of damaged everything for us. Please don't respond to this letter, i just wanted to be able to speak to you one last time.I'm so glad I wrote this letter to you; I feel free now and I know I can finally move on and get on with my life without thinking about you or us.

Keep being incredible Mason, I'm so proud of you. Thank-you for not only being my best-friend but for teaching me what true love actually is. If it wasn't for you, i wouldn't of been able to experience what true love actually is. I really do appreciate everything more than you know.

Just to resist temptation of trying to get in contact you after this letter, I've deleted  your address and I've gotten a new SIM card and a new phone. Not that I don't want to not speak to you, but I think it's best we go our own ways for good.

Thank-you for everything Mase, I don't know what I would of done without you. By the way. the promise ring you gave me is inside the envelope. Sorry I didn't keep it, it just didn't feel right to have it anymore.

Goodbye Mason,

Yours truly,

Y/N x