Michael Schulte - You Let Me Walk Alone
My mom told me stories about him.
She told me of how he would hold me until I fell asleep, how he made me laugh when I was crying. How he loved silence, watching clear horizons, just like I did. Our characters were alike, we looked alike. Sometimes she would stare at me without saying anything. I wonder what was going on in her head. I reminded her of him. It pained me that I couldn't remember anything of him.
He provided us of a home when he left. He paid my mother a monthly fee, so she could take care of me, until I was old enough to take care of myself. I got myself a job at a racing venue which I always wanted. I loved to be close to cars, watching them race.
"Helena!" my colleague yelled from across the paddock. We were preparing for the Formula One race that would be at our venue this weekend. "Yes?" I yelled back at him. Luckily there weren't many people yet. He gestured me a 'come here' so I walked over to him. "Sup?" I asked. He chuckled before he spoke up. "I know something" he told me, earning an annoyed look of me. "Just tell me already" I said with boredom in my voice.
He showed me a picture on Instagram of Kimi Raikkonen, walking through the paddock, where we were standing right now. My eyes widened at realization. "They are already here?" I asked him in disbelief, to which he only nodded because he was busy staring at something. "Look" he said as he pointed in the direction behind me. I turned around and locked eyes with Kimi. It was as if I looked into my own eyes.
Kimi kept looking at me as he walked past us, not showing any emotions. He turned around once to look at me, and then whispered something to the person who was walking with him. "Duuuuude, that's so cool!" my colleague exclaimed. I stood in confusion, my eyes fixed on Kimi's back. "Earth to Helena" my colleague said as he waved his hand in front of my face. I blinked a few times before returning to reality. Something was off about the way Kimi looked at me. I shook the thought off and continued with my chores.
My manager waited for me in our office as I got back. I gave him a small smile before getting my personal belongings. "Helena?" my manager stopped me from walking out of the office. I turned around and nodded, walking back to him. "What's wrong?" I asked him. He looked down at his phone, and then back up at me. "I got a message from someone of Alfa Romeo" he started, "they asked if you could come to their hospitality this afternoon." I furrowed my brows. "Me?" I asked. He nodded and showed me his phone.
We would kindly ask you to inform Helena to come by the Alfa Romeo hospitality at 5 PM this afternoon.
I read the message over and over. How did they know my name? Why me? Did I do something to insult them? My mind was racing with questions. "You must leave, it's almost 5 PM" my manager informed me, to which I nodded. I left our office and headed towards the Alfa Romeo hospitality. The doors opened automatically as I stood in front of them. I was met by the person who was with Kimi this morning.
"Welcome Helena" the man greeted me and offered me his hand. I shook it and nodded. "I'm Mark, Kimi's personal trainer" he introduced himself. "Nice to meet you" I mumbled as I looked around me, taking in the scenery of the hospitality. Everything had the colors of Alfa Romeo, and they had put up pictures of their cars on the walls. "Let me lead you to him" Mark said as he started walking. It was a short walk before we arrived at what must be Kimi's room. Mark opened the door and gestured for me to walk in.
I stood awkwardly by the door as I saw Kimi. He was still in his team apparel, lounging on the couch with his phone. A small smile appeared on his face when he spotted me. He stood up and walked towards me, engulfing me in his embrace. He let go of me and gestured for me to sit on the couch. I sat down and he did the same.
I scanned his face, now that he was so up close. His ice blue eyes reminded me of my own. My nose looked exactly like his. His mouth had the same shape as mine did. I couldn't be, right? This was all just something made up by my head because I wanted to meet my father so bad.
"I think you see it, don't you?" Kimi chuckled. That was the confirmation my head needed. Kimi is my father. I kept staring at him, my mouth agape. He stood up and walked towards his bag. He grabbed his wallet from the bag and sat back down on the couch. "Here" he said as he handed me his wallet. I was hesitant but opened the wallet any way.
He had a little picture of us stored in it. The same picture as I had on my nightstand. I looked at him, and then back at the picture, and then back at him. "No" I said in slight panic. "No this can't be" I said as I gave Kimi back his wallet. I felt the tears burn behind my eyes and couldn't clearly make out if they were from happiness or sadness.
Kimi saw the pain in my face and took me in his arms. Once he started stroking my back, the tears flooded from my eyes, and I started to sob. My sobs became louder with every breath I took. Kimi kept stroking my back to comfort me. After god knows how long I stopped crying, but Kimi kept on holding me close. "I missed you Helena" he said. A small smile appeared on my face. "I missed you too, dad" I said as I hugged him tighter.
