SILK...

4

One month later

Ji Tae-yeon

Its been a month since this whole thing started. Ole living with me, her going to therapy (which she likes her therapist by the way), her driving me crazy on a regular basis...life has been a rollercoaster ride since Ole moved in, and I'm not gonna lie and say I didn't like it

My session with Dr Tlaleng started a week ago, and to say that the woman knew how to get under your skin without making you feel uncomfortable was honestly a gift

Today was no different, "Don't you think that maybe you feel the need to save her because you have superhero complex?" I wasn't really surprised that she would think that, or even ask me that

I had thought about that ever since the first time I saw her on her bathroom floor all blooded, guess you could say that's when I came to the realisation that I wasn't really trying to save her. I just couldn't take the thought of her killing herself

Does that mean that I have a superhero complex? Maybe, so I shrugged, not really sure how to explain it. She jotted down on her notepad, then looked back at me, "How long have you had feelings for Ms Makole?" Her question shocked the hell out of me

And even though I tried to compose myself, I was sure that she saw the split second where my face gave off that she was on the nose with her deduction. She smiled, while I on the other hand didn't know how to react

"There seems to be a conflict here. I don't know whether in the state that Ms Makole is in, where she should've already tried to harm herself, she hasn't because she doesn't want to disappoint you" I was wondering the same thing, "Or is it she is so engulf with you that she doesn't know how to function without you with her" she said

I was about to interject, but she raised her hand up, an indication that she wasn't done, "You are about to argue that that's not the case, but on more than one occasion she has mentioned that she would never do anything in your presence, or your environment" she explained

"Which in turn has me thinking, that she could be using you as an anchor of sorts. But what happens when you are not around any more?" Her eyebrow cocked, a pregnant pause suffocating the room. Or it could've just been me

That was the one thing that I've been afraid of, which was one of the reasons why I had yet to move to Cape Town in order to deal with the new offices my business was building down there

I didn't want to leave Ole alone, but my presence was needed there like yesterday, but what happens when I'm not there to ensure that she didn't try to kill herself again, "In order for her to grow, she needs to learn how to cope with her urges without having you as a net" those words echoed in my head even after I had gotten home

The doctor was basically telling me that I needed to let go of the reigns and see where Ole would land. I don't know if I wanted to take that risk, but my business was suffering at this point, "Here" a plate was sat in front of me with a sandwich on it and a glass of juice

"Thanks" I mumbled and got to eating, the whole time my mind going back and forth between having to tell Ole that I'll have to leave soon, but then again I haven't really made the decision. Not like I have a choice

Or maybe I could just not tell her just yet, and wait it out for a little while. I mean, yeah I was needed over there but I'm pretty sure I can delay it for a few more weeks, maybe a month or two

Could I do that?, "Seems like you have a lot in your mind" Ole smiled beside me. If only she knew just the half of it, this whole contemplation was driving me up the wall...I didn't know if I was coming or going