Loveless Beauty (Completed)

Chapter XXXIV: Pent Up Feelings

I held my hands up in the air, to show that I will do as he says. "Ok, I won't." I reassured him. Hesitantly, but I further say, "you can't leave. Not like that."

He laughed. His laughter was anything but meanancing. He charged towards me, with rage filled eyes. He didn't stop within an inch, closing whatever gap should be left, invading my personal space. Pinning me with his hard gaze, his each word laced with abhorrence,  "You sure do know how to lure people in your innocent facade. I almost fell for it now, even after what my ears heard back there." 

I rolled my eyes at his false accusations, "you didn't even spare a glance at me." How could one get lured without looking at the person?! Only Gashmir knows.

Puzzled, what he looked like. So I made it clear to him, "You said I lured you. Is that true?!" 

He looked dumbfounded. "Is that all you got?!" Furrowing his brow, he looked cute. And all I want to do is hold his face and kiss his confusions away. Oh god!

Shrugging I said, "Nah! But I decided to focus on that." 

Slight amusement flashed on Gashmir's face, however he didn't smile or laugh. I felt relieved that he wasn't furious anymore. Silence engulfed as we stared at each other for what felt like an eon, wordlessly, both lost in our heads. Chirping of crickets could be heard around the corners. If not for that our heartbeats were the only sound audible. The world around disappeared like it wasn't there before.

The moment didn't last long cause getting out of this stupor, Gashmir looked away. I remained unchanged, focused on him as his expressions turned one eighty to zero. Without looking at me, he said, "I should go."

"Ok, let's go." Saying that I made my way to parking. Footsteps not following me, I stopped and turned to find Gashmir on the same spot. I folded my arms, placed them over my chest while tapping my foot, I raised a brow and asked, "Change of plans?! Are we staying?!"

"No. You are staying. I'm leaving. That's the plan." He retorted annoyingly. 

Sighing, I walked upto him. Looking up, I stared him in the eyes. I tapped one finger on his forehead, saying, "You crazy, if you think I will let you alone."

"Why?! Do you think someone will kidnap me?!" He mocked.

I mocked him back, "Can't risk our famous celebrity's security." That will shut him up. Or so I thought. 

"Fuck off." He sounded pissed. 

"Gladly. Once I dropped you____" I was cut off by harsh force as Gashmir held me tight in his arms as I collided with his chest. Our bodies touch each other with the barrier of clothes. I placed my hands on his chest and looked up. My eyes have shown surprise as I wasn't expecting this kind of touch. I always dreamed of being in his arms someday. But not like this. His hold around my waist was tight. Great, I once again provoked him. But what did I even do?! 

"Stop this," he groaned as though he was in pain. 

Ignoring him, I asked in a whisper, "Are you hurt?!" 

He stared in my eyes, which I believed were full of worry before he looked away. He repeated, "Stop this. Whatever you're playing. Just don't."

And that hurt me the most. Playing?! Seriously?! I was dying here, dude. For once I want to smack him so hard to fill some sense in his nonsense brain. 

"I can't. " I whispered. I really can't. This was nonsense. 

His hold loosened, taking it as an opportunity I pushed him softly. I turned my back on him because whatever I had to say next, I couldn’t say with Gashmir being so close to me. Or even face to face with him. Nonetheless, I had to confess. Now or never being the keyword. 

Taking a deep breath, I neaten my already neat dress. That's the sign of nervousness. I begin, slowly, "Can't you see?! I tried, I tried so hard. I tried everything. With your hurtful words, with your despise for me, I thought it would be an easy task. And it was. I ignored you, your existence for so long." 

Frustrated, I continued, "Even when we were married I told myself that it's nothing serious. You're just married to a stranger for some time until you find out the solution to get out of it. And when I got out, I don't know why I wasn't satisfied. I did it for us, for you. However I find myself trying my way in, even when it is near impossible. Even though after you made it clear you don't want me in your life ever again."

"Ugh! It's so difficult. But I tried. I was being too hard on myself. However it never worked. Cause you were even more dominant on me. My feelings were everywhere, dominating me. So, finally I gave up. I decided to give myself a chance. What I didn't know was that I will ruin it again."

Closing my eyes, in defeat, "I don't get where it went wrong. I only wanted your attention, not when you're mad though. I, seriously, don't understand why I always bring out the fierceness in you. And why not the elation." 

Exhaling a breath, I opened my eyes and turned to him, looked up, only to find his absence. I took a glance around, nobody was there except the eerie silence. It was like he wasn't even there before. Did he just leave?! When?! How much did he hear?! Or he didn't hear at all. 

"Uh, Gashmir," I whispered but got nothing in return. We aren't playing hide and seek right?! The idiot just left like that. How mature?! 

However a smile graced my lips. I felt lightweight, now that I let out all those pent-up feelings inside in the air. Why was I relieved that Gashmir hadn't heard those things?! I laughed while taking a twirl, however my happiness came to an end making me squeal.

A/N : thank you for all the votes and support guys.