Ezeabata In A Golden Marriage

CHAPTER 17

The couple thought through for a while, Echeta then goes first, clearing his throat he says

"I don't think the two means the same thing yeah?" With his gaze on Heaven who nodded in affirmative and Cheta continues

"None should be preferable, Like you said the two are faulty personalities.
It might seem 'being good to a fault' is better than 'being naive to a fault', which brings me to their possible definitions. Good means different things but in this context we are talking about when one is properly, morally and ethically brought up well to fit in a society without constituting a nuisance.

Naive on the other hand is when one is lacking in a way of life, that is not being experienced inorder to fit in. I think there is a thing line between being naive and timid.

One is always too layed back while the other is almost like too childlike at heart, also lacking confidence and hiding because they lack clues on what is happening around them.

I think both is not that harmful but when to the extreme, it becomes an issue of concern." Expresses Cheta

"Well said my brother. Do you agree with all he said Heaven? Can you add a word or two please? asks pastor looking at Heaven as she is deep in thoughts. She sighs and says

"I think all these have their depths in one's upbringing from all that you have been teaching us sir, it's truely clear to me that it matters that our path from childhood is guided by God's Word.

In Psalm 91:11 David did say your word, have i hidden in my heart that i might not sin against thee.  In verse 105, he says your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.

How be it that we know these things and yet always err against God in a fallen world where too much is a problem and too little or less is equally a problem.

For instance pastor,  i guess the opposite of a naive or a timid person can be suggested to be smart yeah?

Echeta and pastor agrees by nodding as Heaven continues

"I have seen children sir who are equally too smart to a fault. They are just too outspoken for my liking and what's more, their parents or guardian showers praises on them, claim it's 'Intelligence or brilliance'.

When i was growing up sir, we might be sitting with my parents in the sitting room, once they have guests, without being spoken to, we live the living room except if they are family members, then you're permitted to stay but must not speak except you're spoken too. In fact sir there is a way the conversation will be hitting up and we will be sensible enough to know that, it is time to excuse ourselves.

These days parents engage children in adult conversations, with them contributing to such conversations.

In some homes, some children learn the act of gossiping from their homes. I have been in a place where a child who heard something from his parents at home about someone, confronted the person and clearly told the person what he heard at home about him thinking he was making an honest conversation with the folk, he relayed it all to him."

Explains Heaven laughing,  pastor Chiebido and Echeta laughs along with funny gestures of shame and disappointment

"As i speak with you, the fellow isn't friends with the couple again, courtesy their son". Adds Heaven

"I like that you raised this up so that we can discuss it too. It brings further clarity on what we are talking about. You know to everything in life, there should be balance.

When raising children it's important that every parent remembers this as it is important. Raising children, we can make an angel out of them or a monster out of them pending on how well we teach, majorly by examples and not by mere words. It's easier for them to learn and understand that way. Although sometimes,  like i said before,  some end up on the opposite side, so we trust God for them to turn out right,  with 70% of proper training in place. The remaining 30%, we trust Jesus to help.

There is need for them to gradually understand and imbibe the act of responsibility. You see, this is why the bible instructs to train up a child in a way he/she should grow, when older, they won't depart from it in proverbs 22:6.
Imagine if every grown ups take personal responsibility towards improving themselves, how beautiful and a better place, it will make our world to be.

Another truth i will like the two of you to carry at heart always, when it comes to your children,  put aside yourselves. I am not saying don't look after yourselves,  but it must be clear to you that these children didn't beg to be born but you both are responsible for their existence so deal with each other later,  for issues arising if any. So your chidren must not feel the heat from your personal issues.  You both owe God and humanity, children who will positively add to life otherwise you have failed. Don't dull yourselves,  marriage is hard work.

A story once made a media round of how a mother frustrated, with how she was being treated by the father of her children who was a drunkard and a womanizer, fed her four children with food she intentionally contaminated with rat poison and they all died.".

"Wh...atttt for reals!" Exclaims Echeta

"Jesus is Lord" shouts Heaven almost tearing up

"Yes unbelievable right? The heart is desperately wicked who can know or understand what it thinks Jeremiah 17:9 says.
For some they use their children as punching bags when life hits them hard or bad, not knowing they are only creating a monster or a prayer point, that awaits them in future.

When you put your children first, you will make the right decisions without your heads being in the cloud and where there are mistakes since we are human,  don't concide it by playing the parent card. It's equally bullying and prideful, rather let them know it was a mistake and apologise for it. You are simply teaching them humility and not weakness.

Another thing I must mention here is that even when you're great parents, please and please don't be tempted to use that and manipulate them to your convinience,  like they owe you their lives for being good to them.  Also make sure they love and respect both of you appropriately,  the way they ought to,  not each of you seeking that his/her own love and respect should be higher or greater than the other spouse. 

May our consciences if really it has been circumcised with the gospel of salvation and the seal of the Holy Spirit, guard us right and give us understanding!"

"Amen" echoes couple with intent assimilation

"Heaven by the reason of divine arrangement, mothers spend more time with their childrnen,  please never abuse that privilege,  you and your husband have equal rights towards your children.  Echeta by the reason of divine arrangement,  you are the head of your soon to be instituted home,  don't abuse that right,  you and your wife have equal rights to lead and run the home, consulting God, seasoned mentors if need be and the last but not the least, each other,  but it must be clear that you're the leader physically, and spiritually as the high priest. Is that clear enough or are there questions?"

"Understood sir" says Echeta with unshifted cocentration

"Very clear sir no questions" Heaven replies also paying full attention

"Hmm...i take it that we know now that children shouldn't be raised to be too good to a fault, naive or timid, too outspoken and shouldn't burge to bullying.
Also from the observations we made so far, we also saw children here who are too isolated to themselves which isn't really alright except if it is who they are considering people can be introverted in nature or extroverted in nature, whatever they choose to be or how ever they choose to live as they grow, what matters is that, they understand the positive and negative implications their choices could leave them with in life."

All these and many more can constitute big personality challenges for a growing child. Truth be told, a child who is not cautioned on some habits developed, will definitely not drawn himself or herself alone, but will pull others along either as acomplices or victims and may that not be your portion in your soon to be home in Jesus name!" Exclaims pastor

"Amen" they both said

"Moving further, when we say habits what comes to mind is that,  there are good and bad habits. When an action is habitual, it means it's done repeatedly. True or false? Supposes  pastor

"True" replies the couple together with their eyes steady on their counselor

"If that be the case, can we arguably say that habits can be an addiction that settles one in a particular habitat? And if yes or no, throw more light on what you understand it to be?" Requires pastor as he prepares to conclude the session