Harry Potter and the Do Over: Book One

Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"No seriously," Percy asked, "what's wifi?"

Toni, Peter and Shuri all burst into tears. T'challa comforted Shuri while various members of the Avengers did the same for Peter and Toni.

"Wifi is like an information superhighway." Harry informed.

"Oh." Percy said to himself.

"What's a superhighway?" Goyle muttered to Crabbe.

Crabbe just shrugged his shoulders.

...

There were a hundred and forty-two staircases at Hogwarts: wide, sweeping ones; narrow, rickety ones; some that led somewhere different on a Friday; some with a vanishing step halfway up that you had to remember to jump. Then there were doors that wouldn't open unless you asked politely, or tickled them in exactly the right place, and doors that weren't really doors at all, but solid walls just pretending. It was also very hard to remember where anything was, because it all seemed to move around a lot. The people in the portraits kept going to visit each other, and Harry was sure the coats of armor could walk.

"That seems completely unnecessary." Dr. Banner said.

"It's to teach the students." McGonagall said.

"Yeah. Teach them, what, exactly?" Clint asked.

"Problem solving. Among other things." said Professor Sprout.

...

Easily the most boring class was History of Magic, which was the only one taught by a ghost. Professor Binns had been very old indeed when he had fallen asleep in front of the staffroom fire and got up next morning to teach, leaving his body behind him. Binns droned on and on while they scribbled down names and dates, and got Emeric the Evil and Uric the Oddball mixed up.

"Seriously? You guys have a ghost teaching here?" Peter asked in excitement.

"Trust us when we say that he is super boring." Ron said. "I mean, Harry can't even stay awake in that class. And he's easily the smartest guy in the class."

Many who are in Harry's year, and in the same history class as him all nod their heads in agreement. Some are reluctant.

...

Friday was an important day for Harry and Ron. They managed to find their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast without getting lost once.

"Congratulations!" James said, grinning.

"Siriusly, that in itself, is an accomplishment," said Sirius.

"Sirius, you did not, just make that pun." James sighed.

"Sirius," Remus pinched the bridge of his nose, "That joke stopped being funny back in third year."

"What have we got today?" Harry asked Ron as he poured sugar on his porridge.

"Double Potions with the Slytherins," said Ron. "Snape's Head of Slytherin House. They say he always favors them - we'll be able to see if it's true."

"Wish McGonagall favored us," said Harry.

"No, you don't." James said.

"Trust us on this." Sirius shuddered.

"We were her favorites back in our day." Remus said to the curious students.

"And she gave us," Sirius shuddered, "more homework."

"Harry," Ron said, looking at Harry horrified. "Take it back."