Just Getting Started

The One With The Explanation!

                                                                           

                                                      Kingsley

          You might be wondering why I talked about the beast, and kept mentioning "him" but let me tell you, thinking it was only one is where my problems officially started. I'm not sure why I thought it would be a single person who wanted my parents dead, I'm not sure why I drove thousands of miles and landed on my grandfathers porch thinking it would be that easy, while knowing in my heart that it couldn't just be "him", it had to be all of them. Maggie had sent me no less than 12 text messages every hour. She thought I was coming back, that it would be a quick in and out. I am not proud to admit that I wanted her to think that, I want her to believe in good, believe that I will be back for school tomorrow. I told her that I would get into his house like every other house I've had to climb into, I told her that I would slit his throat, but just right, so the bleeding out would take longer. I would paralyze him first of course, wouldn't be much fun if I had to try and hold down 210 pounds of muscle with my tiny 127 pounds. No, for the man or in my case, men who wanted my parents dead, who actually succeeded while it had been tried many times before, no they deserved the worst kind of death that I could give them. I wanted to stare deep into their dead black eyes while they bled out and couldn't even try for help.

          Maggie wouldn't understand any of this, she lived almost normal. Her parents were also part of The Burrough, but they were lower down and able to keep her out of most of it. She wasn't dumb, she knew what I gathered all of my information for, she knew where I went and what I did at night. But I never involved her, I never vented, or talked about a target. I never did anything that could lead back to my sweet, naïve friend. I wanted her to believe that the world was sunshine and rainbows, because when I was with her, all the bad shit disappeared and I believed in them too, just for that short time. Just until I had to leave her, and head to another job. Took another life, and enjoyed every second of it. No, I never let her see that side of me, I never let anyone see that side of me, it was my one and only secret. With everything else I was an open book, my philosophy being that you always want to be honest to the best of your ability, Without giving too much away.

         I am a killer with a conscious, and I own that shit. I kill people with a fucking smile on my face and then I go to my best friends house and we binge Netflix or whatever streaming service we happen to be on that night, we wear girly pajama's and give each other pedicures. But that is what people don't get, that's what makes me more dangerous than them, I can keep all my darkness and my love for blood and mayhem, under wraps like a fucking boss. I have to, otherwise my world would be bleak and I doubt I could find a single person as sick as me, someone who enjoyed what we were born to do. Most people hate it and want out, most people want to go live normal lives, like my parents had wanted but failed to do.

          I wanted this life, I wanted to go and do my job and do it well. I wanted my name to be feared in the circles that I had to use my politics in, I wanted them to look at me and see how easy it would be for me to take their life, and not give a single fuck about it. But I also wanted to have friends, go to the mall and remain your normal average high school girl when the shadows were kept at bay. I realize that I am not normal, and therefore, who would want someone as fucked up as me? I learned early on relationships were a waste of time, I barely made it past a single date with the many guys from my school that I gave a try. I finally found Trey but he wasn't the boyfriend type, he was the dirty fuck against the side of my house kind of guy and honestly, that fit me just fine. I was going to miss those booty calls, no time for that shit here. Here I had plans and work to do, no fun to be had. I didn't want to be friends, or more with these people, I wanted to destroy them. Unfortunately that meant faking my way into their little trust circle.

          I knew I had my work cut out for me, but for some reason I couldn't get myself to leave the SUV. I was sitting in the circular driveway that lead to my grandfathers ridiculous mansion, with more buildings and shit than I cared to even see. I just needed a bedroom, I was exhausted, possibly a shower before I hit the ole pillows. I smelt like take out and BO from that long as ride and that wasn't going to make anyone want to get close to me, I didn't even want to be close to me.

          I finally took a deep breath and heaved the door open, stepping out and immediately loving the pops and cracks that put everything back into place after a drive like that. I know I must have had a small smile on my face when an elderly man opened the front door and started walking towards me. He was wearing a navy blue 3 piece suit that fit him like a glove, he was slender and tall with a head full of greyish silver hair that seemed to have this Pierce Brosnan kind of look. For an older dude, he wasn't ugly. I was thinking he must be the butler but when he came straight for me and wrapped his arms completely around my body, I figured he must be Kian, my long lost grandfather.

          I wasn't quite sure what to do with my hands, they were laying kind of limply at my side and my smile was gone, I didn't know him. He didn't even come to my parents funeral and yet he thought us familiar enough to hug? I need this man, I need his connections and I need the status it will give me to come from his line at this prestigious school, and with the people that I need to be closest too. But I also don't trust him, he is part of The Circle and they had to have been the ones to kill my parents, there weren't any other suspects, I went through the entire roster before I decided on my plan to come here. So was he part of it? Did he know that it was going to happen? Even coming from The Burroughs, I simply couldn't understand what could possibly stop you from going to your own child's funeral, what would they have done to him if he made that one choice? I'm honestly hoping something very bad, something so bad that it gives him an out, and excuse so that I don't need to kill my own grandfather.

          I returned his hug stiffly, making sure to keep my posture one of indifference and lets face it, stranger danger. If there is any situation which would qualify for that childish remark, it would be this one. I had no idea what I was getting myself into, The Circle wasn't talked about by my parents, it wasn't even whispered about. Once my mother left, that was it, it was like she came from a black hole. I never heard a childhood story or shared in a funny memory of her and her father. I always found it weird as a child that I only had my parents, there wasn't anyone else. My fathers parents had been killed in a job gone wrong before I was born, my dad had inherited that line and that's all I knew. I knew being a Mercer meant bad things in a bad world, well bad for everyone else. I always knew that my parents loved me, they just showed it in different ways. They showed it by buying me the cute belly holster that I saw on a Facebook ad.

          This man was a stranger plain and simple, did he buy my mom guns for her birthday? Did he show her how to incapacitate a man twice her size like mine did? I had no idea and that thought terrified me. But do you want to know the absolute scariest part about this entire thing? I never reached out, this man had no idea I was even coming. He wasn't in on my plan, so why the fuck was he meeting me at the front of his house, with a smile and a hug? The only person who knew my plan, or where I was going was Mags, and I know for fucking sure that she wouldn't tell a soul. So who knew I was coming?