NOW OR NEVER | s.jaeyun

diary

third person's POV

minha, she felt it all. yesterday night, she was sent again to the hospital, she is all weak and trembly, but she still refused to stay at the hospital.

she was breathless the whole night and day, trying to calm herself down, with her pale figure she made her way to jake

minha was gripping the diary on her hands as she take small steps. wishing he would see jake at the lab where he always stay

she was ready, to give up her diary and let jake read how it feels loving him from her point of view

she was ready to give up her life, she accepted it..

her body was just waiting for her to give up, so that darkness can cradle her into its arms forever. it could be later, or tomorrow, or even right now. who knows? no one.

she reached down the lab and was taking deep breaths or else she'd be panting

but when she was about to enter she heard a familiar voice..

"jake, please. were you doing it because she was dying?"

it was her, its soojin..

minha gripped tighter on her diary, looking down. she knew that jake really likes soojin, her bestfriend. she gulped feeling her clenching heart kicking

"im so selfish." minha whispered under her shaky breath and torn apart heart.

"no, soojin. please, stop."

"i thought you liked me?" soojins voice cracked, echoing through the whole room

"i do, but.." dissatisfaction glazed all over his voice, breaking minha's heart again and again.

she didnt budged to listen anymore to their converstaion, with her weak hands she dropped the whole diary that consisted a lot of polaroid shots of them and jake, scattered open

the material falling made a loud noise startling both soojin and jake, next they heard was the sound of feet running down and escaping the hallway that felt like hell

the running didnt help, her heart was begging her to stop and let her breath or she might die at the spot, with her weak legs and wobbly bones she still ran

jake didnt hesitate to run after the girl when he read the name tag on the diary. "kang minha." he whispered dearly..

he ran and ran, but seems like he cannot find you. he took a sat down on one of the library chairs, taking his time to read every page of the diary with his broken heart

it only broke more even, page by page, until he read the last page..

"i-it cannot be your last-" he didnt made himself finish, rushing and not caring about the librarian scolding him

fear crept into his whole body, he was such a jerk, he told himself. running around with his messy thoughts and confuse heart

he always denied his feelings, knowing that crushing on two persons are wrong. oh how miserably mistaken he is for not knowing the difference between love and a crush.

he watched her laughihg, he wondered why it was breaking his heart whenever he sees you pressing on your chest while breathing heavily, he wondered why he gets worried everytime hes not beside you, he wondered why his heart beats faster when you make silly jokes and laugh at it, he wondered why the thought of you dying bothered and makes him tear up all the time, he wondered why...

then, its because...

"i love you, minha." he whispered, tears finally escaping their prison called eyes. blurring his view as the sunset, running around to go to their spot.