You & Me

8.

Pulling back slightly after kissing for a few minutes, I make eye contact. "Harry, we've been drinking." I speak up. I haven't had sex since Harry two and a half years ago and I'm starting to get nervous. It wasn't on purpose, I just haven't found anyone I find attractive enough to sleep with.

"I'm not drunk, are you drunk?" He asks me hands on my face, looking intensely into my eyes, thumbs rubbing my cheeks lightly.

I shake my head.

"I need to hear you say it." Harry pleads to me.

"No, I'm not drunk. And before you ask, yes I want you." I make up my mind, wanting to let him in and please me. I need to feel him again and have him show me that everything between us is going to be okay.

He gives me a bright smile and connects our lips together again. "Just what I needed to hear." His lips now on my neck and his hands roam my body.

My head spins as I get excited for what's about to happen. Before I can take the lead for myself, he flips us so he is on top making me giggle. "You never did like giving up control to me."

He shakes his head with a smile. "No, I always wanted to take control and please you." He whispers hotly in my ear.

I have to physically push his head away from me so I can clear my head.  Otherwise, it's too intoxicating.  Laying under Harry like this reminds me of the first time we had sex, when I lost my virginity to him.  At this moment all I can think about is the events leading up to it.

"Dylan," Kyle stops me before I can take his shirt off, "I don't want to have sex until I'm married." He informs me. We're at his house early in the morning while his parents take his sister and brothers to the park. They let us hang out here while they're gone and I want to take advantage of that.

It's as if a bucket of cold water was dumped over me. I roll off of his lap and sit next to him on the couch and fix my hair. "Oh, okay." I say in a soft voice, not knowing how to respond.

"I wasn't sure how to tell you and you didn't see interested until now-"

To get him to stop rambling, I place my hand on his forearm.  Then I speak. "It's okay, Kyle, seriously. I don't want to push you and make you uncomfortable. We never actually talked about sex or anything sexual. I just figured it was about time to take that step in our relationship, but I understand where you're coming from."

Guilt begins to set in as I look at him and see a look on his face that I can't place. I stand up and pat down my clothes, smoothing them out. "I should go home." I whisper. I'm afraid if I stay any longer I'm going to get physically sick because of my guilt for the situation.

"Dyl, babe, you don't have to go. We can hang out like we usually do." He practically pleads with me.

"Um, I wish I could, but my dad has One Direction's movie premiere tonight and I said I would go." I scratch behind my neck. My dad said, since I'm staying in New York City tonight with everyone, I'm not allowed to invite my friends even though I would have loved to watch the movie with Christina and Rose.

Kyle just lets out a sigh and nods in defeat. "Are we okay?"

To reassure him I nod my head and give him a kiss. "Yeah, we're okay." Although my mind is going in different directions.

On my way home, now being eighteen and able to actually drive by myself, all I can think about is Kyle. It's not my business to know, but I'm curious as to why he feels the need to wait until marriage.  I know his parents are super religious, so that might be it, but I really don't know for sure.  It's not a bad thing at all, but part of me wishes he told me sooner. We've been together for almost a year now and he hasn't brought it up before.