𝕯𝖊𝖘𝖕𝖆𝖞𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙✔

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 28: 𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖆 𝖉𝖆𝖞

I have been home for a few days. They all treat me like broken glass and walk on eggshells around me.

No one has asked questions but I knew they soon were to come.

I am currently at the dinner table. We have been having family dinner ever night now. No one ever speaks. We sit in silence, I think they want me to talk first. They want answers and I don't blame them, I want some to.

Alejandro put his hand on my shoulder, I flinched at this. He noticed, everyone noticed. He quickly pulled his hand back in. I was now embarrassed.

I just wanted to go back to bed. Away from everyone.

I started eating faster, so I could get away. I didn't like the energy in here. They all were so careful around me, so different. I miss how we all were. They fun and games. The jokes and fucking around.

I missed the old me. The old them. We have all changed so much since we all first met. It hurts to think about it. Suddenly a tear went down my face. I didn't mean to cry but it just happened.

They all are seeing me. They see me slowly breaking down.

I then started sobbing. I was now just crying. I didn't get it. I was crying because I was hurt. I was hurt by Jacob, by losing Dante, my family's change, and my own self. That all had been hurting me. My mother's death finally stopped being my main point of hurt. Then new ones had been put my way.

"Amara-" Alejandro was cut off by my hysterical crying. It was pathetic.

He stayed silent, they all did.

"Everything has gone to shit." I let out. They all look at me," We all have fucked up. Everything has changed. I'm different. You all are different. Fuck, this house is different." I screamed.

They all looked confused.

"It's no longer happy. We are miserable, heatless, cold ass killers. That's why everything we touch dies. It just disappears before us. We are so strong till we aren't anymore." I cried. I was talking about me more then them.

"I hold it all in. I think maybe this is normal, I mean we all act the same, so it must me normal. It isn't, we are fucked up. All of us and I can't do this." I let it go. No idea were it is from. I storm out, I couldn't handle this anymore. It was all to much, I let my emotions take over and I regretted that.

I went to my bed and hid my head in my pillow.

I heard my door open. I didn't look to see who it was. The person comes over and lays in the bed, it was Alejandro. His smell filled my nose.

"Your not okay Baby, are you?" He said. He made no eye contact or anything.

I didn't answer, but my silence answers for me.

"I got you," he tells me.

We lay for a while. Staying close.

I felt safe with him. Always will. The second I have his touch all is well. He gives a comfort that I didn't think I ever needed.

I do not every want this to end but everything does. I hate how that works. I wish it would never end.

"I love you." I said those three words. I didn't know why but I did.

He didn't say anything. He went silent. I was given a kiss on the back of my head. Nothing more.

I was regretting my words, he did not feel the same. I felt stupid. He probably thought I was stupid.

He tightened his grip around me. He made me feel safe.

I wanted to know his thoughts. I just needed to know. Maybe he does love me but just doesn't want to say it. He could be afraid of getting hurt.

So many things went through my head. I was overthinking everything. The millions of what if.

I was stressing myself over this. Something I can't do shit about.

It felt wrong of me to want him to say it.

So I just stayed quiet like he did. I won't question his choices and actions. 

Then snoring was all I heard. I looked over to see he out cold.

I left his arms and went to the bathroom. I wanted to shower. I got undressed and entered.

I kinda just stood there for a while. Not doing anything. I let the burning water hit my body. It took my mind of everything.

I don't know how long I stood there, doing not a single thing. I do know how amazing it felt.

I then got out. I wrapped my self with my towel. I walked past the mirror and had the urge to look into it I walked up to it and just zoned out.

I saw a lot in the mirror. Different versions of my self. I didn't like any of them.

I quickly walked away and put on a basic hoodie and sweatpants. I didn't know what to do now.

I just pulled out my phone and started browsing dresses for the fall gala. It was going to be a big night.

I am going shopping with Madeline tomorrow. The gala is a week away. It is very important to me. I want to dress to kill.

I finally got bored I had nothing to really do. I felt like going to the gym.

I left a note so Alejandro doesn't have a heart attack and I go to the gym downstairs.

I walked in and saw my brothers, well no Mattia. I'm guessing he is in his room. They were sparing. I missed doing that with the gang. I loved them all.

They all watched me as I walked in. I avoided them and went to the whole other side. I did my own things.

They still stared and passed to watch but I didn't care.

I then got a call, getting everyone's attention.

I didn't look at the number, I just took it.

"Hello, is this Amara D'Angelo." A women asked me.

"Yes, this is she." I responded.

"I am sorry to inform you, but I do have some devastating information," the lady took a pause, I swear to God, who died this time," Your step father has died. A burglary at the home, he was shot. I am so sorry for your loss."

She sounded actually sad. I didn't care if he died. He was a raging bitch anyway.

"Oh, well thank you for this."

She started to talking about a funeral, I fucking hung up. I really didn't care.

He could suck the devil's dick for all I care.

Though I did want to know who killed him. He probably pissed another Mafia off. Oh well, make your bed, you gotta lie in it.

"Is everything good." Carlo directed his question at me.

"With me yes, but Kayden died. He won't be missed." They looked a little surprised.

I knew everything would be fine with the gang though. He second in command was a great man. He would do well with the gang.

I had no worries.

I was tired and smelled so I then left, my brother was talking to me but I could actually care less.

I walked away and went up to me room. What a day it had been.

That is the end of Chapter 28 of Dépaysement. I hope you enjoyed. With love Alivia ❤️