I Have A Dad? ...cool

One

Archer's PoV-

Umm okay wow, I'm currently being chased by some weird bull thingy. I thought I killed it last week but I guess not.

"Hey dude no offence, but fuck off you kinda smell weird!" I shout back at the huge thing and it just lets out an angry growl and starts running faster.

Okay shouting insults at it doesn't work, got it.

I find myself running into the woods, and with my amazing skills I manage to make weird bull dude run into a tree.

After that I stab the mother fucker with my weird dagger thingy I stole from a museum last week when this mofo first attacked me.

The creature immediately turns into gold dust, and I brush it off myself because I don't wanna look like I went to a barbie convention.

Just as I'm putting my dagger away I hear an inhuman screech, ah shit it's that creepy flying bitch that keeps attacking me.

I'm too tired to fight the bitch, ima run and hope she don't catch up.

So that's what I do, I run, I'm fast as fuck boisss.

I come to a sort of open space and run through this arch thingy that his something written in Greek on it. I dunno what it said, I'm too busy running for my life.

"You might be safe now but not for long!" The weird bitch says as soon as I get past the arch thingy.

I look around to see her flying away, what the fuck.

"Fuck you too ya old prickly bitch" I shout back at her, putting my middle finger up at her.

"Uhhh" I hear someone say and turn around to see a dude standing there, holding a wrench and looking confused.

He kinda looks like an elf, aww he's cute. Not in the ooh I'd date him kinda way, more the awww a puppy kinda way.

"Jesus the audacity people have these days" I say to myself shaking my head slightly as I retrieve a McDonald's cheeseburger from my pocket and unwrap it.

I take a huge bite and only then notice a bunch of people looking at me.

"Oh shit is like a cult kinda thing, did I stumble across an Amish colony again? Dam every time" I say.

"Umm who are you?" The cute elf asks me confused.

"Oh shit yeah I'm Archie, you?" I reply and he grins.

"Hi! I'm Leo! Or better known as McShizzle Man Supreme!" He says with a happy wave.

"Nice to meet you! Wanna cheeseburger? I bought two" I ask him and he shrugs "sure dude" he says and I pass him the cheeseburger I had in my other pocket.

Suddenly a horse, wait no man...? I dunno, a horse man comes galloping along and stops in front of me and my new pal Leo.

"Oh shit did I take hallucinogenics by accident again or is that dude actually half horse?" I ask Leo.

"Nope he's a centaur" Leo replies.

"Cool dude! Like in Harry Potter!" I say with a grin and he shrugs.

"Who are you?" The man asks me confusedly.

"I'm Archie, you mind if I like stay here for a quick minute, I was running from a weird ass flying lady and she did not seem happy at that middle finger I sent her way" I say and he just blinks incredulously.

"Child do you know where you are?" He asks me and I shrug.

"I dunno, are y'all gypsies or something? Ohhhh is this an illegal weed farm? That'd be cool, I've been trying find a good dealer, you seem like a trustworthy man, I'd buy from you" I say and he just looks at me like what the fuck.