Finding Her Own Way

Chapter 4 - Will You Accept This Latte?

Not being used to the Boston cold became a bigger and bigger deal as the days passed by. Within the first week of November, the temperature hadn't stayed stable. Sometimes it would be humid and rainy, or it would be a dry cold. Finally, it had settled around 50 degrees, which was cold for California, but it felt good for here.

 The coffee shop had become my safe place, a place where I could relax, study and get out of the room. It had soft lighting and large glass windows outlooking the beautiful brick buildings on campus. It felt like a haven of sorts. This wasn't the central coffee place. It was tucked away so much so that people often forgot about it. I came here when I had something on my mind. Only really Danny knows about it; we had passed it one day after we had left campus to explore. The smell of coffee beans lingered in the air as I melted into the comfy chairs with my chai latte. 

"Hey, Elle." That voice said the one I didn't expect to see here. I automatically stiffened, turning my head to meet Noah. He wasn't a big coffee shop person, he usually had a cup in the morning, but he only took it with milk and a bit of sugar. He didn't like any fancy coffees. They were always too sweet. So if we had ended up at a coffee shop, it was usually for me. Noah looked good, better than usual.

He was dressed in a pair of jeans and his Harvard football sweatshirt. Had his muscles gotten bigger? The sleeves were snug around his biceps. His brown hair was perfectly messy and a tiny bit longer than the last time we talked. I had seen him around, but this was the first time I had really allowed myself to look at him. I missed him, but I wasn't sure if I could let myself acknowledge that yet.

"Um, Flynn...hi?" I responded but regretted my casual attempt when his smirk fell from his face.

"Come on, Shelly, please don't be like that," he pleaded.

I sighed, wrapping my cardigan around me tighter. "What's up, Noah?"

He ran his hand through his hair and settled it behind his neck, rubbing it slightly like he does when he's nervous. "Nothing's up per se; I just-well, I just wanted to talk to you."

I raised my brow at this, "You wanted to talk to me?"

He smirked, "I mean, that is the general concept of communication."

This cocky approach wasn't appreciated. "You seemed to have gone radio silent since August, so, I am just a bit skeptical of what you would want to talk about now."

His face fell, revealing my Noah, he lowered his Flynn mask, and I thought I could see regret in his eyes. "I always want to talk to you. I guess I've just been nervous."

"Talk to me about what?"

"Us."

I sighed. I knew what he was doing. He had done this a few times when we had first gotten together. He could recognize my uncertainty the same way I could recognize his nervousness. He'd try to reassure me about whatever was going on with us, and I wasn't going to have it. Not this time. Whatever he was going to say, I wouldn't melt. I wouldn't fall back into his arms. I wouldn't just go with whatever he was going to say. "Noah, I'm really not in the mood to talk about this," I said, starting to get up.

"No, Elle, wait, please, just hear me out, just for a second."

"Fine."

He took a deep breath, composing himself. "I'm just going to put everything out on the line; I'm sorry for everything that happened between us. I'm sorry for how I handled it all. What I'm most sorry for was hurting you and ending it. I thought that was the solution, and to a certain extent, I think it worked. You started to put yourself first, which was all I wanted for you. But I can't say that I don't still love you because I do, Elle. I still love you."

I could feel my breath catch. I wasn't expecting this. Noah Flynn had once again caught me off guard. This worked last time, but it wasn't going to work this time, at least not really.

"Noah, I-I don't know what you want me to say? Why are you saying all this now; why not two-three months ago?"

"Because...I knew I'd hurt you, and I didn't think you would even talk to me. I don't even know if you still would even like to talk me."

"Okay, but why now? Why this moment?"

"Because I can't stand being here with you, seeing you, and not being a part of your life in any form. Elle, I've known you my entire life; not being able to talk to you is driving me crazy."

"Then you should have reached out."

"Maybe, but I was afraid you'd hate me; that's something I couldn't handle."

"So then, what do you want from me?"

"For you to be in my life, as at least my friend."

"So, you just want to be friends?"

"Oh, want so much more than that, Shelly, but I'd settle for friends, at least for now."

"What if we're to tell you that I'd started seeing someone?"

His face fell, "You're seeing someone?"

"No! But would you still be willing to be my friend if I told you that would be all we'd ever be?"

"I mean, I'd be devastated, but I'd rather have you in my life, Shell."

My heart melted at that. I guess he did care. 

I was about to respond before a bumbling idiot interrupted me. Danny swooped in, grabbing the hand that had been hanging at my side, jerking me out of my Noah bubble and back into the coffee shop. He startled me, causing me to squeal slightly before I started hysterically laughing. Danny was on a knee holding a rose.

"Elle, will you accept this rose?"

Yeah, it was Bachelor night. Maddie, Gia, and I had dragged Danny and Eli into our tradition. Danny became very involved and loved arguing about stupid stuff with Gia, who was obsessed.

I giggled out a yes, and he took me in his arms, swinging me around a bit before the spell was broken by an agitated Noah clearing his throat. Danny put me down, but not before loosely draping his arm over my shoulder. This would be an interesting relationship.

"Noah, this is my friend Danny, Danny this is Lee's brother, Noah."

"Ah, didn't realize Lee had a brother and that he was a Flynn. How's it going? The team looks good, Flynn." Danny said, extending his hand to Noah.

"Nice to see you again, Taylor," Noah replied, less friendly.

"Ready to go, Elle?" Danny said, "Gia's been asking me where you are; she is threatening to start Bachelor night without you."

"Oh, I must have lost track of time. I had my phone off to study," I said, turning to Noah. "I guess I'll see you around?"

He nodded, "Yeah, I'll text you; maybe we could grab a coffee?"

"Better make that a chai latte dude, this one," Danny said, pointing to me, "has been inhaling those lately."

I blushed, "Stuff it, Daniel, I've only had it like twice!"

"Yeah, maybe twice a week."

"Do you want to get hit in the head with a soccer ball?"

"I can defend myself just fine with one, Evans."

"You wish," I rolled my eyes. "Coffee sounds good, Noah; maybe we can discuss our travel plans for Thanksgiving?"

"Sure."

"Cool, have a good night," I said, which prompted Danny to almost drag me out of there. Gia could be seriously scary; threats were real and substantial.

"You too, Shell," I could hear him say as Danny and I walked out of the coffee shop.