INT. RUSSIA - AFTERNOON
Sexy cleaner LORD JERRY MITTENS is arguing with crackhead mechanic LORD SANDIE BALL. JERRY tries to hug SANDIE but she shakes her off.
JERRY
Please Sandie, don't leave me.
SANDIE
I'm sorry Jerry, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces her fears head on, instead of running away.
JERRY
I am such a person!
SANDIE frowns.
SANDIE
I'm sorry, Jerry. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
SANDIE leaves.
JERRY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, intelligent fishmonger COUNT TYLER SON barges in looking flustered.
JERRY
Goodness, tyler! Is everything okay?
TYLER
I'm afraid not.
JERRY
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
TYLER
It's ... a Child ... I saw an evil Child suck a bunch of gays!
JERRY
Defenseless gays?
TYLER
Yes, defenseless gays!
JERRY
Bloomin' heck, tyler! We've got to do something.
TYLER
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
JERRY
You can start by telling me where this happened.
TYLER
I was...
TYLER fans himself and begins to wheeze.
JERRY
Focus tyler, focus! Where did it happen?
TYLER
Italy! That's right - Italy!
JERRY springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
JERRY rushes along the street, followed by TYLER. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. ITALY - SHORTLY AFTER
TOMMY SPARKLE a wild Child terrorises two gays.
JERRY, closely followed by TYLER, rushes towards TOMMY, but suddenly stops in her tracks.
TYLER
What is is? What's the matter?
JERRY
That's not just any old Child, that's Tommy Sparkle!
TYLER
Who's Tommy Sparkle?
JERRY
Who's Tommy Sparkle? Who's Tommy Sparkle? Only the most wild Child in the universe!
TYLER
Blinkin' knickers, Jerry! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most wild Child in the universe!
JERRY
You can say that again.
TYLER
Blinkin' knickers, Jerry! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most wild Child in the universe!
JERRY
I'm going to need nets, lots of nets.
Tommy turns and sees Jerry and tyler. He grins an evil grin.
TOMMY
Jerry Mittens, we meet again.
TYLER
You've met?
JERRY
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young JERRY is sitting in a park listening to some jazz music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over her.
She looks up and sees TOMMY. She takes off her headphones.
