[3] MARANELLO || C. LECLERC

FORTY EIGHT

* here's a brand new chapter and it's fairly long to make up for my recent lack of updates. i absolutely love writing this story and i am so excited to see where it goes in the future. this trilogy is my pride and joy! so proud of myself. enjoy, and please engage as you read!!! vote, comment and share!! *

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CAMILLE

As much as I didn't want it to be race day, I had absolutely no choice over the matter. I wasn't in the position of power, nor was anyone, to cancel the race just because my best friend was in hospital and I was absolutely traumatised by what he'd been through. I just didn't want to see any of the other drivers in that position.

As the official reserve driver for Red Bull Racing, Sergio Sette Camara was the team's replacement for Max. I wanted nothing more than to see him in the garage, but at the same time, I didn't feel ready. Instead, I sat in the Ferrari hospitality with Charles, my knee bouncing up and down at the thought of him leaving me to race. His hand was linked tightly in mine, and while he ran his fingers through my hair in an attempt to calm me down, he constantly whispered reminders of our wedding and those all important three words: 'I'll be fine'.

Max said those same words to me before Silverstone, and look at where we were now with that.

"We need to head onto the grid." Charles shifted from his seat and I quickly fell back into the reality of what we were going through right now. Before the beginning of the race, all the drivers, team personnel and fans were taking part in a minute's silence for Max. It felt a little awkward to me, considering he was getting better and very much alive, but it wasn't a minute to reflect on Max's life. It was a minute to think about how much stronger he would be when he came back.

I nodded my head, staying silent, as Charles stood up and pressed a kiss to my forehead. Ever since we left Max in hospital, Charles had been extra close, at all times. We flew out to Budapest with Lando, as he opted to fly out one day after the rest of the McLaren team, so he could be with me, to make sure I was okay.

Leaving Max was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Knowing that he needed me now more than ever and I had to leave because of work commitments that I couldn't really change absolutely broke my heart. If my work wasn't so closely related to F1, I would've changed my schedule. That was slightly impossible.

He told me that our time in Hungary would fly by and we would soon be reunited, as best as he could anyway. His speech was improving, but not much. It broke my heart because I could see how badly he wanted to be able to communicate with us - properly - but a few words and hand gestures were all he could manage. Mama sat beside him this morning when I spoke to them on FaceTime. Max told me to enjoy myself, to relax, but all of that was difficult.

These past few days had been torture, being so far away from him, but I always expected race day to be worse.

I barely slept a wink last night. Charles slept peacefully beside me, his arm wrapped around my waist and his hand placed protectively on my stomach. He knew I was terrified. His reassurance, for the first time ever, was nowhere near enough.

Christian came to see Max in hospital. I didn't want to intrude on their informal meeting, but Max wanted me to stay, so I did as he wished. I sat beside him with my hand locked between his. Max told Christian that he'd made a decision about returning to racing. Just as I was about to interrupt and tell him that it was far too soon to set anything in stone, Max announced that he didn't want to return to Red Bull for the rest of the season, even if he did get better. He said, '2021, not sure' and I felt a strange feeling in my stomach.