Strawberry Wine

twenty two

Chae Young decided to write, instead of talking through the phone. The things she had to tell her father and brother were too many, too elaborate; she didn't trust herself to explain them coherently over the phone. She had to tell them of her decision. It had come to her so certainly, so naturally. Perhaps in another time, she would have stressed over it for days, cried, talked to Ji Rin and called her brother in a panic. But this time, she was sure and felt at peace with it. She, Park Chae Young, had decided to stay.

Her six months-contract with Sonyeo University was nearing its end, and she had been applying for private tutoring jobs in a flurry. Jung Kook and his friends were also graduating soon. Rather than being overwhelmed, the small group of friends had never seemed more enthusiastic.

Chae Young took days finishing her letters, writing and re-writing them. In the end, she kept it as concise as possible:

Dearest Appa,

I hope this letter finds you well and healthy. I am doing well here, and I enjoy my classes. I have never really known what I liked doing, but I have discovered that teaching brings out the best in me. I become more patient and more empathetic as I try to figure out what will best help my students understand the things I know. And to think I discovered this unintentionally- surely there must be a greater power at work. With that being said, I have also realized that the privilege my dearest, hardworking father was able to give me by sending me to college in Australia is amplified by my being here. Many here don't have the same privilege and opportunities. But through mine, perhaps someone can someday avail the same. By teaching here, I have discovered a happiness that Melbourne could not give me. It's a different kind of happiness that enlarges my heart and gives me hope. Every weekend, my friends and I volunteer to teach underprivileged children for free. I don't mean to claim that I am Mother Teresa now, but I think I understand a bit of where she got her strength from. I know you will not understand, and you might even be angry. Someday, perhaps you can come visit me and see that I'm happy. I know you hoped that I would do something bigger. But this is bigger, at least for me. I feel closer to mother here and I feel her guiding me. I'm stronger than I seem, just like mom had been. I love you and can't bear to tell you this over the phone. I know you gave up so much to bring me there. I'm not throwing that way. Right now, neither one of us can see the sense in my decision, but it feels right to me. I belong here. I'm happy here. I hope you will forgive me for my decision.

Love,

Chaengie.

She wrote a separate one for her brother where she said more or less the same thing, and kept another copy of it in her pocket. Posting them with prayers, she knew she was expecting a storm.

                                                                                               ***

"Chae Young-ah," Jung Kook said over the phone one evening. "Do you want to come over to Tae Hyung's place for dinner? He's not home and I don't want to eat alone."

Chae Young had just returned from class and she was tired, but she knew Jung Kook liked eating alone. If he was calling for her, he actually wanted her company- Chae Young's company specifically.

She bid goodbye to a smirking Ji Rin and took the bus to Tae Hyung's place.

"I need help with dinner," Jung Kook said as greeting when he opened the door.

Chae Young laughed. "Where's Tae Hyung-Oppa?"

"He's staying out late. One of his friends from University is having a bachelor's party."